TEAM VIENNA!
Omigod, you guys, I damn near died tonight when Jake actually proposed to Vienna. I mean, obviously he wasn't going to pick Tenley, because you know that girl handles a cock like it's a bomb that could explode at any minute (in fairness, there's truth to that), but I didn't ever in a million years think he would actually get out a ring for Vienna. Vienna! I love that a sexpot raised in a shack in Florida, sporting hair extensions that come cheaper than the cucumber I bought f...
This really happened. Lindsay Lohan let Niecy Nash and a crew from The Insider come into her trainwreck of a house -- with a camera crew -- and organize it. This is part four of Lord only knows how many parts, because we are going to drag this thing on forever. I think it's hilarious that Lindsay wouldn't let the camera crews into her bedroom until it was organized. I wonder how many drawers of coke mirrors we're not getting to see here.
Really, Lindsay? This is what someone like Kim Kardashian does to get attention. This should not be what you do to get attention. You drink and make terrible movies to get attention. Let's get back to that, because life is boring without you loose on the streets.
Parts 3, 2 and 1 of this absolute insanity are after the jump.
Read More />
This really happened. Lindsay Lohan let Niecy Nash and a crew from The Insider come into her trainwreck of a house -- with a camera crew -- and organize it. This is part four of Lord only knows how many parts, because we are going to drag this thing on forever. I think it's hilarious that Lindsay wouldn't let the camera crews into her bedroom until it was organized. I wonder how many drawers of coke mirrors we're not getting to see here.
Really, Lindsay? This is what someone like Kim Kardashian d...
It's been an awesome couple of days for Jessica Simpson, who recently had her vagina's addictiveness flouted in a Playboy article by John Mayer. He called her "sexual napalm." The exact quote:
“That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them … Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm ... There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”
Yesterday, Jessica tweeted:
interesting day so far...hmm...at least i am boxing 2-a-days this week
And then when TMZ asked her if she had a comment (video above), she bitterly laughed it off and said she didn't.
Ummmmm, okay, look, if some guy gave that interview to Playboy about me, I would be thrilled. I would be beyond delighted. I would get a T-shirt made that said "I AM SEXUAL NAPALM" and then I would wear it everywhere. When people asked me what my name is, I would be all like "Well, Playboy just calls me 'Sexual Napalm.' So that's kind of what I go by these days. Did I mention John Mayer would sell all his shit to keep fucking me? Because, yeah. Dudes want to snort me, that's how good I am in bed."
You need to own this, Jessica. />
It's been an awesome couple of days for Jessica Simpson, who recently had her vagina's addictiveness flouted in a Playboy article by John Mayer. He called her "sexual napalm." The exact quote:
“That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them … Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm ... There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you wan...
Thank you so much to everyone who wrote in to tell us about your favorite bedroom co-star. I, personally, learned a whole lot, and I hope you guys will take the time to glance through our final gallery to get some ideas about how you can spice up your sex lives.
We've assembled the final gallery of our favorite entries here, on Zelda Lily (while the homepage of Zelda Lily is perfectly suitable for work, that particular page is not completely safe).
The winning entries are after the jump. (Again, not especially safe for work.)
THANK YOU to FunLove.com by Fascinations for sponsoring this contest!!
Read More />Thank you so much to everyone who wrote in to tell us about your favorite bedroom co-star. I, personally, learned a whole lot, and I hope you guys will take the time to glance through our final gallery to get some ideas about how you can spice up your sex lives.
We've assembled the final gallery of our favorite entries here, on Zelda Lily (while the homepage of Zelda Lily is perfectly suitable for work, that particular page is not completely safe).
The winning entries are after the jump. (Again, not...
It's not even a terrible rap song, but you'd think after spending, like, three months having her entire bisexual, death-threatening, watching-Natalie-fuck-an-NFL-player life filmed, she'd look a little less like a giant pussy on camera. And it's weird how she's trying to pantomime all the words, like the dance to "Like a Virgin" my friends and I choreographed in sixth grade. Or, you know, this.
Still, I love you, Flo. Just not as much as I love Natalie. Who's the real psychopath in the house. (Well, either psychopath or raging coke addict. I can't always say. I leave the BGC recapping to the capable hands of Saranden and Sierra, even though some weeks I really, really, really wish I could do it.) />
It's not even a terrible rap song, but you'd think after spending, like, three months having her entire bisexual, death-threatening, watching-Natalie-fuck-an-NFL-player life filmed, she'd look a little less like a giant pussy on camera. And it's weird how she's trying to pantomime all the words, like the dance to "Like a Virgin" my friends and I choreographed in sixth grade. Or, you know, this.
Still, I love you, Flo. Just not as much as I love Natalie. Who's the real psychopath in the hous...
I am a terrible Jew. On Saturday, I learned it was Purim by reading Twitter. So I felt bad. I did go to an improv comedy show that night, which is a reasonably Jewish thing to do, I suppose, but then I felt even worse to learn that Jersey Shore's Snooki actually attended a Purim event, along with castmate Vinny, at Manhattan hotspot Solo. I'm sure she was there because the Jewish traditions are close to her heart, and not at all because the Jewish owners of a Manhattan nightclub shelled out a sh...
What this blog is missing right now is a SHITLOAD of Lindsay Lohan pictures. The raven-haired beauty has been all over Milan's fashion week, notably by Roberto Cavalli's side at his show. Kissing him on the lips. Because I guess, if you're squinting hard enough, he does look a little like Samantha Ronson.
I can always tell Lindsay is un-sober when she does that pose with her arm bent over her head and her eyes all squinty. It's a dead giveaway. You know what I hope isn't dead? All those damn furs s...
Elliott Yamin's formerly stagnant career is about to crack wide open! (Too soon?)
The American Idol also-ran just happens to be in Chile right now, at the heart of the earthquake damage. He had recently wrapped up a performance at the Competencia Internacional in Viña del Mar, the largest music festival in Latin America, when the earthquake hit. He did what any reasonable person would do in that situation: he Twittered. (ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, LITTLE SIS? START TWITTERING HOURLY PLEASE.) ...
My Lord, what a day. I woke up this morning, checked my Twitter feed, and immediately started freaking the fuck out, because my little sister is currently on a research vessel off the coast of Chile. I called my mom, who'd received an email from her early in the morning saying she was okay, and so then I promptly started freaking out about tsunamis from the earthquake. I twittered about it, and, thank goodness, I had quite a few readers quickly reach out to tell me that the open sea is probably the s...
I thought her engagement to Russell Brand happened just a wee bit too fast. When I heard the news, I was all like, "She's preggers. Totally preggers."
And I think I see a hint of a baby bump in these latest pics of Katy leaving her gym in LA. The rest of her body is still super tiny, but there's a little bulge in the tummy area that I'm pretty sure wasn't there before. What do you guys think?
Speeeaking of Katy/ies and moving a little fast in relationships, I'm putting in a quick plug for ...
Flo can walk again ... sort of, and she walks to the other side of the line drawn between her and the rest of the house. Lexie gets progressively horny and makes her man-demands while Natalie calls a friend over to teach the girls how to use their stripper pole. It's quite entertaining to watch all the girls fail -- well, all the girls except for Natalie. She seems to know her way around, and around, and around, that pole.
After their workout, our girls hit the town, and that's not all ...