Can everyone just stop for a minute? Because something unbelievable just happened. I just said, out loud, with my very own mouth, "wow, Kim Kardashian looks really cute!" I can't believe myself.
It's these damn retro swimsuits, that's what it is. Do you remember Taylor Swift's swimsuit? It was probably one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. For one brief moment in time, I actually kind of liked Taylor Swift. It's some kind of enchantment, those damn suits. And it needs to ...
This is a video of some dude who doesn't understand personal space trying to get Lady Gaga's autograph in Romania. As you can see, it doesn't work out too well for him.
There are a few reasons why I wanted to show you this video. One, because it's making the rounds this morning, and I didn't want you guys to miss out on the latest hot topics at the water cooler or the trough or whatever it is you people with regular jobs have at your workplace. Two, because this is the first time that I have ever liked any Gaga fashion - I actually think her whole ensemble is really, really cute. Three, this whole scenario would freak me the f-ck out, and I wanted to tell you about another thing that freaked me the f-ck out this week.
My neighbor called the cops on me, guys. Me. If you've been reading this blog for a time, you probably get the sense that I'm a sort of goofy, awkward lady who loves unicorns and playing with her cat and guinea pigs, and you'd be right. But listen. A few days ago, I was at home with my boyfriend, playing with the cat, and there's this terrifyingly loud beating on the door, like the kind of thing you'd hear if some police thought you had a meth lab in the kitchen. My cat ran into the bedroom because he's a for real scaredy cat, and my boyfriend answered the door, and it was a neighbor guy that we'd never met before, and he started yelling about our lawn. He reeked of booze like Amanda Bynes burping out of Lindsay Lohan's mouth, and we had no idea what he was saying, except it was something about mowing the lawn. Then he asked if we had any sort of lawn equipment, and my boyfriend was like "that's not really any of your business, friend," because no thank you, shady drunk stranger, and the guy left. Weird, right?
BUT NO. After a few minutes, the guy came back. My boyfriend was outside with his dad (I was inside comforting the cat), and Drunk Neighbor started yelling again, but like angry yelling, about how he was just trying to be nice. He yelled for a minute, and then my future father-in-law, who usually looks and acts like Santa Claus but can apparently be sort of a badass, told him sternly to go home. And so he did. Weirder, right?
BUT WAIT. I walked to the general store up the road to get some ice cream, and when I came back, there was a police car outside my house. Because Drunk Neighbor had called the police. On us. The officer was just like "sorry guys, I told Ol' Drunky to stay off your property, but if he comes back, just call me," and then he left, but still, really? Freaked me the f-ck out.
But yeah, Lady Gaga, huh? CUHHH-RAZY. />
This is a video of some dude who doesn't understand personal space trying to get Lady Gaga's autograph in Romania. As you can see, it doesn't work out too well for him.
There are a few reasons why I wanted to show you this video. One, because it's making the rounds this morning, and I didn't want you guys to miss out on the latest hot topics at the water cooler or the trough or whatever it is you people with regular jobs have at your workplace. Two, because this is the first time that I...
But she doesn't drink and she doesn't hit and run, ok guys? God.
From TMZ:
Police believe there is enough evidence to charge Amanda Bynes with hit-and-run -- after she allegedly rear-ended someone last week and fled the scene -- and now, they're passing the case to prosecutors ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
According to sources, LAPD officers recently made contact with Bynes following the accident and spoke with her.
After completing their investigation, we're told cops bel...
[image removed on request]
That, friends, is a photo of Amanda Bynes driving. Why on earth is she still legally allowed to do this? And, by the way, is this why she shouldn't be legally allowed to drive? I mean, obviously there's the booze, and that's bad, but what is she doing? How is she that low in her seat? She looks like my grandma when she drives before she puts the phone book and the couch cushion in the driver's seat, and my grandma is 4'5" at most. What is wrong with this girl?
Oh, and just in case you're interested in what she's actually doing here, she's just driving down to the CVS, looking like this:
[image removed on request]
What a Miley Cyrus-lookin' mess, right? Girl looks like she woke up still wasted and pulled on the first things she could find that weren't caked in vomit. Lord.
But in the spirit of Amanda Bynes' intense denial - "I don't drink," she claimed after her DUI arrest, and "I don't hit and run" - let's take a quick peek at the front of her car, shall we?
[image removed on request]
So did it just come with that giant dent in the middle there, or is that some sort of fancy customization?
Images courtesy of The Superficial />[image removed on request]
That, friends, is a photo of Amanda Bynes driving. Why on earth is she still legally allowed to do this? And, by the way, is this why she shouldn't be legally allowed to drive? I mean, obviously there's the booze, and that's bad, but what is she doing? How is she that low in her seat? She looks like my grandma when she drives before she puts the phone book and the couch cushion in the driver's seat, and my grandma is 4'5" at most. What is wrong with this girl?
Oh, a...
From Radar:
LeAnn Rimes is on the defense!
The social media savvy singer got engulfed in a nasty Twitter battle with a follower on Wednesday, after they slammed her for her homewrecking ways – and RadarOnline.comhas the details.
After Laura James mentioned Rimes in a Tweet, noting that she “cheated with Ed & broke up her marriage and his,” the country star immediately rushed to defend herself and her marriage to Eddie Cibrian.
“correction…we broke up our own marria...
From TMZ:
Kristen Stewart has publicly shown remorse over her affair with her "Snow White and the Huntsman" director, but privately she is FURIOUS she's taking all the heat ... sources directly connected with Kristen tell TMZ.
Our sources tell us ... Kristen can't believe the public isn't painting Rupert Sanders as the bad guy. She's grousing that he's 19 years her senior and was "in a position of power over her" ... being a director of a movie she had just shot and presumably someone she w...
Real quick about the fur: I really don't know if it's real or not. The coat she was wearing before is Hermes, and after doing a bit of research, I didn't learn anything. Some people say that Hermes "simply does not make faux fur coats," while others insist that the coat that Lady Gaga was wearing was fake. And as for that pink number you see above, that's Armani, and PETA claims to have confirmed that it's real fur. I don't know if I buy that, but I did see that Armani, after claiming th...
From People:
Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries is so mired in court that a settlement is looking out of reach and a trial doesn't appear likely until next year.
"To say I am frustrated is an understatement," the reality star's lawyer, Laura Wasser, complained to a judge Tuesday at a Los Angeles Superior Court hearing, according to E Online.
Humphries, 27, a pro basketball player, is seeking to annul the August 2011 televised wedding on the grounds the marriage was a fraud. Ka...
Poor Mel Gibson. It must be so hard to be so disliked. And really, for what reason? What did Mel Gibson ever do that was so bad? Do you know? Mel Gibson doesn't know. Mel Gibson has no idea why you don't like him.
Here's what Mel had to say during a recent interview after being asked if Hollywood is a forgiving town:
No it's not. They have to forget. I don't even think they're vindictive. I don't think they think there's reason to forgive. And forgive what to begin with? What are t...
Oh man, welcome to Kristen Stewart's Bummer Summer. It's just one thing after another for her, isn't it? The latest thing? It looks like she just got fired from being Snow White in the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Total bummer.
From The Hollywood Reporter:
Universal has decided to shelf its planned Snow White and the Huntsman sequel and is instead focusing on a solo Huntsman movie starring Chris Hemsworth. Kristen Stewart will not be invited to return if the follow-up goes for...
Last month, Sarah showed you guys the first ad for Lady Gaga's perfume, Fame. You remember, she was naked with a bunch of tiny men crawling all over her? Yeah. It was weird and a little creepy, and I was like "I don't think I want to smell like that." But then I saw this trailer. And I definitely don't want to smell like that.
I mean, I've known that I don't want to smell like the perfume itself - it was made with a blood sample from Lady Gaga herself, and she's said it smells like an expensive hooker, and don't get me started on all the semen business - but I really don't want to smell like this trailer. Does that make sense? Like if I could envision the perfect perfume trailer for me, it would have lots of bright colors, and it would be set in a forest with a big rainbow in the back, glitter raining from the sky, a unicorn drinking from a river, and little kittens with wings flying around everywhere. Adele would be singing "I'll Build A Stairway to Paradise," and then Robert Pattinson would walk in, gently pull a flying kitten down to his chest, and nuzzle it's little head. The perfume would be called "Sparggles." Because it's a cross between sparkles and snuggles. I would want to smell like that perfume so hard.
Alternately, I've always really liked this actual ad from Britney Spears:
So no, Lady Gaga, I'm not interested in your tiny men that smell like blood and semen and hookers. But thanks anyway. />
Last month, Sarah showed you guys the first ad for Lady Gaga's perfume, Fame. You remember, she was naked with a bunch of tiny men crawling all over her? Yeah. It was weird and a little creepy, and I was like "I don't think I want to smell like that." But then I saw this trailer. And I definitely don't want to smell like that.
I mean, I've known that I don't want to smell like the perfume itself - it was made with a blood sample from Lady Gaga herself, and she's said it smells like an ...
For the past twenty minutes or so, I've been trying to come up with a nice way of saying that Christina Aguilera looks like the offspring of Miss Piggy and Snooki, but it's just not coming to me. I thought of being like "no, see a lot of people think that Christina resembles Snooki sometimes," but that didn't feel right. Then I remembered that a couple of weeks ago I said that Christina looks like Miss Piggy, and I made extra sure to say that I wasn't trying to be catty (because I really wasn't), but, you know, I don't want to repeat ...