You might have already seen a little piece of this monstrosity - I showed you a teaser last week - but man, what a weird video, right? Like, I don't even know what to do with this. What am I supposed to do with this? What is Christina Aguilera trying to tell me? Is this a cry for help? Do I need to help Christina Aguilera?
And it's not even that the chorus of her new song is "all I want to do is f-ck your body." Well, ok, it's a little bit of that. She's a 31-year-old woman with a four-year-old son, and she has a voice to die for, I think she can step it up a little bit. It's just ... what's with all that blue paint in that bathroom? Is that what she thinks semen looks like? And why did she beat the guy with a baseball bat? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that there was pink glitter instead of blood, but it's just not that great a sign. And don't get me started on the I Love Lucy bit at the end. No, please, don't get me started on it, because I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. It's like Christina drank a bottle of Grey Goose and vomited up a concept, and it's just awful.
But what did you think? />
You might have already seen a little piece of this monstrosity - I showed you a teaser last week - but man, what a weird video, right? Like, I don't even know what to do with this. What am I supposed to do with this? What is Christina Aguilera trying to tell me? Is this a cry for help? Do I need to help Christina Aguilera?
And it's not even that the chorus of her new song is "all I want to do is f-ck your body." Well, ok, it's a little bit of that. She's a 31-year-old woman with a fou...
Get More: Couples Therapy, Couples Therapy 2
Is it insensitive of me to think that crazy people should practice being crazy primarily at home? I mean, I get it, you can't really control your crazy all the time, I can empathize (did I tell you? I started seeing a psychiatrist, and I was telling her about my life, and she was like "I'm kind of surprised that you're able to function" and I was like "ha ha," and she was like "no, really."). But once you realize that you have some sort of problem, and when you been called out on it as much a...
Ok, maybe just one comment: WHAT.
No, really, what even is this? First of all, I just love the fact that Chris Brown has a song called "Don't Judge Me." He's done, like, one redeemable thing in his entire career, and even that is just his pretty ok dancing skills. He's been a giant dick over and over. It's not even that he's been a douchebag, no, he's been an outright asshole. He's been a bad person. So yeah, I'm going to judge you, Chris Brown. I'm going to judge you for days.
Also, this is a dumb video. He gets in a fight with his girlfriend because she can't "just let the past just be the past," so he gets in a spaceship and kills himself? That's a bit much, isn't it? And what is he even doing up there? Is he destroying a giant meteor, or some evil alien spacecraft? But he's not even doing anything, he's just chillin' in a chair. Is this supposed to be the whiny, useless jackass version of Armageddon? Because you are no Bruce Willis, Chris Brown. You are no Bruce Willis.
Ok, I guess that was technically eighteen comments, but now it's your turn! />
Ok, maybe just one comment: WHAT.
No, really, what even is this? First of all, I just love the fact that Chris Brown has a song called "Don't Judge Me." He's done, like, one redeemable thing in his entire career, and even that is just his pretty ok dancing skills. He's been a giant dick over and over. It's not even that he's been a douchebag, no, he's been an outright asshole. He's been a bad person. So yeah, I'm going to judge you, Chris Brown. I'm going to judge you for days.
A...
You guys! It's Gwyneth Paltrow's birthday today! Can you believe it? She's 40 years old! That's a big year, isn't it? That's why we have to make a fuss over her!
I was going to do a gallery of photos like we usually do on birthdays, but Gwyneth is far too special for that. So I decided to collect some of her best quotes instead because, as we all know, what's on the inside is far more important than what's on the outside.
Here's Gwyneth on how she's better than drunk people:
“I ...
From Radar:
Amanda Bynes formally pleaded not guilty in a Van Nuys, Calif. courtroom Thursday morning to charges related to her hit and run cases, and the Hairspray actress was ordered to turn herself into cops, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
The wayward actress wasn't personally in court for the proceedings, which lasted less than 10 minutes. Instead, Bynes' attorney entered the not guilty plea on her behalf. The judge also ordered Bynes to formally turn herself into to be bo...
Tough question: who's the bigger mess, Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes? It's a tough call, isn't it? While Lindsay has been a mess for a lot longer, it seems like Amanda is catching up fast. Amanda hasn't spent any time in jail yet, aside from that one night when she got her DUI, but she's working on it, you know? Lindsay has a wider variety of f-ck ups, but on the whole, I think Amanda Bynes' f-ck ups are more serious in that she's consistently endangered the lives of other people. Basicall...
Sorry, Scientology, but it's true. Tom Cruise doesn't want to play with you anymore. He would rather just go home, if it's all the same. Also, he would appreciate it if you just wouldn't call him for a while. Thanks.
From Radar:
Could Scientology's most famous ambassador be parting ways with the church?
A shocking report in the new issue of Star magazine, which hits newsstands Friday, details recent twists in Tom Cruise's life that's spurred speculation the Days of Thunder star might be inc...
We're not going to get an official statement about this, and we're probably not even going to get pictures for a good long while, so I'm just going to go ahead and confirm it and be done with it: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are definitely, completely, for sure back together in a romantic relationship. Done.
We first heard the news from a sort of sketchy tabloid, but then news of a meeting was in People, and then we heard the story from Us Weekly about how the two had moved back in together. But now we have a story ...
That's Liberty Ross, as in the lady who's married to that creepy creeper, Rupert Sanders. As in the lady whose husband strayed to go down on Kristen Stewart in public. And she's wearing her wedding ring again.
See, for a while, Liberty took the ring off, and it looked like she was going to do a fabulous "f-ck you" routine in which she taught her husband a lesson in not being such a creepy asshole by embarrassing him in delis and going on dates with exes, which, by the way, she did just last we...
Honestly, if this was just a three second clip of Courtney Stodden claiming that she's saved many lives, that would be enough for me. But it's not, you guys. Well, it is, but it's so much more than that, too. It's three minutes and 54 seconds from the new season of Couples Therapy, featuring Courtney and her creeper husband, Doug Hutchison, JoJo from K-Ci and JoJo, and a bunch of other people who are apparently somewhat famous. And it's wonderful.
Just look at those stupid shapes that Doug shaved onto the side of his stupid head. Just listen to Courtney say "I call him Dad instead of Doug," and Doug respond with a smile and a comment of "I'm raising my wife." And then after you get your nausea under control, listen to Courtney tell the therapist that she forgets she's married sometimes, and let's all urge her to take that feeling and run, literally run with it. If you can handle it, keep watching until you see Doug's cry face, and then push through a little more so that you can see Doug say "I didn't think it was possible, but I'm more deeply in love with you than ever," and Courtney's "whatever" face in response. It's so worth it, you guys. It's so incredibly worth it. />Get More: Couples Therapy, Couples Therapy 2
Honestly, if this was just a three second clip of Courtney Stodden claiming that she's saved many lives, that would be enough for me. But it's not, you guys. Well, it is, but it's so much more than that, too. It's three minutes and 54 seconds from the new season of Couples Therapy, featuring Courtney and her creeper husband, Doug Hutchison, JoJo from K-Ci and JoJo, and a bunch of other people who are apparently somewhat famous. And it's wonderful.
Just look at those ...
It's called "Diamonds." It's the first single from her new album, which is going to be released in November. The cover for the single, as you can see, shows Rihanna rolling a joint of diamonds. Did I miss anything?
Oh, here's the actual song:
Weird, right? And by "weird," I obviously mean "I don't hate it that much," which is a very unusual reaction for me to have to a Rihanna song. The only song of hers that I've even halfway sort of been able to tolerate was "Unfaithful," and that'...
"Me and my girlfriend are getting ready to build an aquaponics farm using the best bloom booster we have available up in Cambria. Aquaponics is the future, dude. Aquaculture is the study of fish, and then hydroponics is the study of plants growing without soil. So when you marry those two things you wind up with an ecosystem. Say you get a big tankful of 12 catfish and on top of it you put a floaty device that has holes in it. And you take a cup and poke a hole in that cup and put a seed in tha...