Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Turns Out People Still Care About Jack Sparrow

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides opened this past Friday, and now it's official: it's not just Michael Bolton, everybody in the whole world is still interested by those wacky pirates and their crazy adventures. Entertainment Weekly has all the box office info: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the fourth movie in Disney’s hugely successful franchise, opened to $35 million on Friday according to early estimates. If the estimate holds, it will just barely beat Fast Five‘s $34....

Hope You Guys Didn’t Miss SNL Last Night …

... Because if you didn't get raptured, then you have no excuse. I'm just joshing you, you know I didn't watch it either.  But I did check and see if there was anything on there that you absolutely had to see, and there was.  And so that's what this is. Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, and Andy Samberg joined forces to teach us all about the rules of the threeway.  I think they did a wonderful job, and their dedication to education is really inspiring.  How many of you have been caught in an awkwa...

Kenickie Apparently Didn’t Overdose, Is Going to Be Fine

A photo of Jeff Conaway I was sad to hear about Jeff Conaway's latest overdose this past week, and I'm sure many of you were as well.  Conaway seems like a good guy with a lot of problems, and it was upsetting to think that he might have gone out that way.  But, according to Dr. Drew, this whole thing has just been a big misunderstanding.  Here are some of his explanatory Tweets: Just visited Jeff Conaway. He is stable & looks like he will recover from his pneumonia. Not an OD like press is alleging & cert...

Sara Rue Is Having The World’s Best Wedding Today

A photo of Sara Rue How adorable is Sara Rue? Granted, the only things I've ever seen her in are The Big Bang Theory and Roseanne, but those are two of my top five favorite shows ever, so the girl's obviously got something going for her.  If you don't watch either one of those shows, go ahead and get your life together, but then think about all those Jenny Craig commercials on the television these days.  That girl in the cute bikini?  That's Sara Rue.  Are we all caught up?  Good, because now we need to talk about why her...

Ryan Gosling: New Bromance, Same Gorgeousness

A photo of Ryan Gosling and Nicolas Winding Refn Oh, sorry, were you expecting an actual story here?  Because there's not one.  There are oodles of beautiful pictures of Ryan Gosling with director Nicolas Winding Refn at Cannes, but that's about it.  In the wise words of our very own Sarah, "there never needs to be an excuse to run a gallery of photos of Ryan Gosling," and in the wise words of me, "suck it, I’m about to go to hell, I’ll do as I damn well please." Enjoy, friends! [gallery columns="5"]...

Snooki Thinks She’s Like Lady Gaga And Other Silly Notions

This poor girl. Our little Snooki, famous for her drinking problem and her absurdity, thinks she's akin to Lady Gaga, a woman more powerful than Oprah.  Bless her heart: "I'm definitely like my own style, like leopard print, like total guidette.  Just like everybody loves Gaga. Why does everybody love Gaga?  Because she's herself and she's not trying to be anybody but her. So I think, you know, I'm kinda like Gaga." Snooki, honey child, when I go to the bars in the bad part of town, I don't see ladies ...

Happy Rapture, Everybody!

Are y'all psyched for the apocalypse or what?!  Heads are gonna motherfuckin' roll, you guys.  I'm so pumped.  Last night, I had the perfect excuse to do my favorite things (make out and watch Zach Galifianakis movies, natch), and today I'm going to be completely worthless and offensive and terrible all day, and if anybody calls me out on it - suck it, I'm about to go to hell, I'll do as I damn well please. Sad facts though: the Rapture is supposed to start on May 21st at 6:00 PM, and s...

Who’s Pumped for The Saturday Night Live Season Finale?

With musical guest Lady Gaga and host Justin Timberlake, it's pretty obvious that this weekend's season finale is going to be a big deal, right?  I mean, you know that we don't particularly care for Lady Gaga around here, but JT always does a good job on SNL, so I'm going to be way optimistic about it.  Plus there's a rumor that Justin and Andy Samberg are going to be reprising their glorious characters from the classic "Dick in a Box" skit, and you guys know how I feel about Andy Samberg making music...

Love It or Leave It: Courtney Love Does Cannes

A photo of Courtney Love Courtney Love has been looking really good lately (well, in public, anyway), and I think it's such a crying shame that she just went and threw all that away. I think someone who "doesn't want to be perceived as a trainwreck" should be more careful when leaving her home and attending a major film festival.  Seriously, this looks less like high fashion and more like something I'd stitch together after a mild mental breakdown and a handful of vodka cranberries - and I would know, I've seen me do it. Is it appropriate that I'm interpreting this dress as anoth...

Jessica Simpson Is Getting Married on 11/11/11 at 11:11

A photo of Jessica Simpson You know how you can say a word or a phrase or something over and over and over, and then eventually, much like Jessica Simpson's upcoming wedding, it just doesn't make sense? Weird, right? Despite rumors to the contrary, Jessica and her fiance, Eric Johnson, are sailing along happily, and come November, they'll declare their everlasting love with an extravagant wedding in Hawaii. Their wedding registry is ready. Cue Eric high fiving his bros for scoring the best meal ticket ever. Here's some more wedding details from In Touch via ...

American Idol Recap, Or “How I Lost Faith in America”

Spoiler alert: the majority of American Idol voters have no idea what good music sounds like. In case you couldn't tell by my anger and disappointment, last night Haley Reinhart got voted off the show.  You know what that means?  It means that the finale is going to feature Lauren and Scotty.  And that is, pardon my eloquence, dumb as a box of rocks. It's not that I think Lauren and Scotty are bad people, it's just ... really?  Was the rest of the country watching the same show that I was watch...

New Couple Alert: Ke$ha and T-Pain?

A photo of T-Pain and Ke$ha Hennessy and cash money, everybody - what makes for a more solid foundation for a relationship than that?  A shared talent for making shitty, unbearable music, you say?  Well, then it looks like T-Pain and Ke$ha have the trifecta, so don't expect to see K-Pain fade away anytime soon! Just to let you enjoy this classic romance* a little longer, I'll show you the origins (from Twitter, natch): And that's how a loving relationship is born, kids.  Was there ever a romance with ...
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