Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy Harry Potter Day!

It's time, you guys. In just a few short hours, I'll be getting in my Hogwarts uniform and going down to the Mexican restaurant for pre-Hallows margaritas (how else are we supposed to handle all the pain of a double feature, ok?). And you know what? It's a big deal. We've been talking about our Harry Potter emotions pretty consistently for the past couple of weeks around here, but on this very special day, words are not enough. No, we have to turn to music: Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't realize I was nerd enough for wizard rock? Guess again, fools! Ok, that one was a little harsh. Let's brighten it up a little with a happy song about my favorite character, Remus! And that wasn't entirely happy either. I know that, ok? I'm aware. So, in closing, I'm going to stop with any pretenses and share with you my very favorite wizard rock song, the one that can make me break down in the most emotional fangirl fit you've ever seen. It's called "Open at the Close," so, uh, that should give you a little bit of a hint: Are you now a sobbing, messy puddle of grief and tragedy like me? Excellent! Now pull yourself together, go get in your costume, and have a glorious time! We'll meet back tomorrow to talk about our feelings! />It's time, you guys. In just a few short hours, I'll be getting in my Hogwarts uniform and going down to the Mexican restaurant for pre-Hallows margaritas (how else are we supposed to handle all the pain of a double feature, ok?). And you know what? It's a big deal. We've been talking about our Harry Potter emotions pretty consistently for the past couple of weeks around here, but on this very special day, words are not enough. No, we have to turn to music: Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't realize I was ner...

Listen to A Bunch Of Doctors Call Shenanigans on Megan Fox’s “No Botox” Photos!

A photo of Megan Fox Last week, Megan Fox posted those pictures to her Facebook, remember, the ones that prove that she's never had Botox? I know, I thought they were ridiculous too, and apparently, so did several doctors: “Looks like Megan is just as talented with Photoshop as she is in entertainment,” said plastic surgeon and blogger Dr. Nicholas Vendemia of New York. “Those lines on her forehead are totally fake. … Muscles in the forehead and brow simply don’t create curved wrinkles like that. The ...

Quotables: You Know You Wanted to Know What Charlie Sheen’s Like in Bed

A photo of Bree Olson, Charlie Sheen, and Natalie Kenly "He's intelligent, he's charismatic, he's super funny. And he's good in bed. I mean, he's had a lot of practice... [he was] gentle and considerate. He's just a rock star. He's a powerhouse. He is a very sensual and sexual person, and when I was with him I felt as if we became one together, because he's just so enticing sexually." - Bree Olson, one of Charlie's former goddesses, describing the man's sexual prowess. I'm trying to think of something more gross than having sex with Charlie She...

Jennifer Aniston Goes to Couple’s Therapy …

A photo of Jennifer Aniston Are you ready for this?  Are you ready for the end of that sentence?  Ok ... By herself. Jennifer Aniston is going to couple's therapy BY HERSELF. Is that not just the saddest thing you've ever heard? Heres's the full quote: “She’s been doing a really intensive form of couples’ therapy on her own. She’s conquered the crippling trust issues she had,” a source told British magazine Look. “They [she and Justin Theroux] are so, so madly in love. He makes her feel happier than she has ever do...

Helena Bonham Carter Is Crazy for Marc Jacobs

A photo of Helena Bonham Carter And by "crazy for Marc Jacobs," I mean that she likes him, or at least I'm assuming she does because she obviously agreed to be in one of his ad campaigns, but I also mean that she looks for real crazy in these pictures. To me, these pictures look less like a fashion advertisement and more like a serial killer's scrapbook. But maybe I don't totally get fashion. Either way, Helena Bonham Carter, right? I love this crazy bitch! Images courtesy of Socialite Life [gallery columns="5"] ...

This Douchebag from Big Brother Just Found Out That Dumbledore’s Gay

Ok, I don't watch Big Brother. I never have, I don't care about it, I'm not into it. But I saw that this douche canoe from the show, Jeff Schroeder, found out during a live feed online what the rest of the world already knew: our beloved Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of our hearts, was gay. And, as douche canoes tend to do, he reacted with a boatload (or a canoe load?) of ignorance: It all went down inside the BB house last night  -- during a live feed on the Internet -- when Jeff and Kal...

Ok, So I Guess Brooke Mueller Didn’t Have a Crack Pipe …

A photo of Brooke Mueller Remember a couple days ago when I showed you guys that picture of Brooke Mueller with a crack pipe in her hand? I did that because TMZ called it a crack pipe, but it turns out that you guys were right, it was just a little ol' thing for weed. Brooke says it's totally legal weed too, she has a prescription for anxiety. Which is fair, I guess, I'd probably have to get high if I had kids with Charlie Sheen too....

Are Angelina and Brad About to Get Married?!

A photo of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt I know, I know, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have been talking around the whole marriage thing forever, but this time it might be for real. See, this time it's a little different - this time, Us Weekly reports, not one, not two, but THREE different sources have all confirmed that yes, these lovebirds ARE getting married, and they're doing it within the next few months. You guys know me, I'm always a sucker for weddings, so of course I'm hoping this is true. And could you even imagine what Angelina's dress would look...

Of Course Justin and Selena Do Karaoke Together

And of course they do that tired old (but still somehow lovely) song by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. And of course they fail miserably. And of course I haven't been able to stop watching this video since about 3:00 AM last night. There are three thoughts that stick out strongly in my mind: 1. Justin really is horrible, isn't he? 2. Selena Gomez will always be the most adorable girl. 3. I'm officially rooting for these crazy kids. Feel free to add your thoughts and feelings in ...

Wouldn’t You Just Love to See Emma Watson in A Fat Suit?

A photo of Emma Watson Other people would love to see Emma Watson in a fat suit, right? Oh, please don't let this just be me, I don't want to get some weird fetishist label. To clarify, this isn't something I've been daydreaming about when I think about how lovely Emma is or anything. This is a desire that just came on suddenly, right after I read that in this last movie, we're actually going to see it. Here's Emma discussing the filming of the infamous Deathly Hallows epilogue: It was really interesting and challenging. The thing that was hardes...

Woe Is Me: Another Black Eyed Peas Hiatus!

A photo of the Black Eyed Peas If you're feeling even a little tenderhearted this morning, you might want to just skip this post altogether, for - can you handle this? - it contains word of the most phenomenal band this world has ever seen, the Black Eyed Peas, being ol' dummies and putting their light under a bushel basket. That's right, then masterful creators of such hits as "Boom Boom Pow" and "My Humps" are going to refuse the world the greatest gift of all: their music. The news came at a recent concert in Engla...

Deathly Hallows Premiered in New York Last Night!

A photo of Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe, and Emma Watson From the looks of things, this premiere wasn't nearly as emotional as the London one, and there weren't nearly as many Harry Potter stars. But then again, Joey Fatone and Mr. Jay from America's Next Top Model weren't in London, so I guess everything evens out. Check out the gallery so you can tell me what's up with Daniel Radcliffe's hair and Emma Watson's dress, all right? Oh, and also check it out if you want to see Joey and Mr. Jay. You know that's what you wanted. [gallery]...
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