Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rivers Cuomo Injured in Bus Crash

Rivers Cuomo Weezer's frontman Rivers Cuomo was injured last night in a bus crash that took place en route to a show a Boston University from Toronto. Somewhere just outside of Amsterdam, NY, the bus hit a patch of ice and ran off the road, leaving Rivers and another passenger in need of medical attention. The two were transported to St. Mary's Hospital in Amsterdam. Also on the bus was River's wife and his daughter, who suffered no injury. At this point, police do not believe that drugs or alcohol wer...

Are Sienna Miller and Jude Law Back On?

Sienna Miller at Jude Law's House? Sienna Miller fueled rumors that she and Jude Law are back together by leaving his New York apartment with an overnight bag and an umbrella covering his face. Perhaps time has healed old wounds or Sienna was willing to forgive Jude's infidelity because of her own relationship choices the past couple years. Either way, I sure do hope those two whores are back together! That would be delicious! [gallery]...

Brittany Murphy is Always Funny

That chick from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (or, as I call it, "Sisterhood of the Traveling Awesome") hosted Saturday Night Live last night and the show was one of the best I've seen this season. I'm definitely still drunk from last night, so my taste level may be a bit off. Eh, that's cheap. I'll just give it to them: SNL was really funny last night. One of the highlights? Abby Elliott's on point Brittany Murphy impression during Weekend Update. The look on her face is priceless. If you're interested in that Blake Liv...

If Billy Joel’s Daughter Tried To Kill Herself Because Of a Dude, I’m Going To Kill Myself

Alexa Ray Joel Well, right after I finish up a post about how Jessica Simpson has totally figured her shit out and seems to be doing OK despite being a woman scorned and a card carrying member of the "my dog got eaten by a coyote" club, I read that Alexa Ray Joel's suicide attempt most likely had something to do with some man she's dating. The sad part is, this woman is only 23 years old, the most flailiest of all the years I spent flailing. It's incredibly sad to see a young girl with all the resources and p...

Jessica Simpson: Beacon Of Hope For Sad Women Everywhere

Jessica Simpson at LAX Jessica Simpson arrived at LAX looking a lot happier than usual last night and I thought to myself "This is a woman who has felt the utter misery that was the year 2009 and look at her! Look at her smiling!" Of course I take in to account that she is a celebrity with the best material possessions money can buy and a close knit family, but think about it: she got schooled by Tony Romo publicly, got her dog eaten by some coyotes and continued to regularly get made fun of in the press. I don't kn...

Maya Rudolph Had a Baby Girl

Maya Rudolph First of all, I'd like to apologize to Maya Rudolph for not being able to find a better photo of her. I feel badly about that. This is exciting news. Remember how Maya Rudolph seemed like she was pregnant for all of last year? Well, turns out she had the baby just about a month ago and the couple (Maya's hubby is director Paul Thomas Anderson), has just announced that not only is she the proud mother of her second healthy baby, but that it's a little girl name Lucille. I love how all these SNL-a...

Paris Hilton Celebrates The Holidays By Dressing Like A Christmas Call Girl

Paris Hilton Dresses as Sexy Santa Just like the rest of us, when it comes time to celebrate the holidays, all Paris Hilton wants to do is find a cheap-looking Slutty Santa costume to prance around in. Last night she launched her new fragrance, Siren, at the Glendale Galleria (if only I could possibly explain to people outside of LA how funny that mall is without sounding racist/classist/ignorant. It's impossible. Trust me, I've sat here for twenty minutes trying to piece together the words and I don't know if it can be done) ...

Friday Fun: Tiger Woods, Gay Marriage, Big Girls and Dry Skin

Ed and I were clearly on a little drug called "single parent children with a chronic need for attention" last night when we made this week's Friday Fun video for you all. Not only were we covering the entire week's worth of news (more or less), but I also was feeling a little parched in the face and Ed had some things he had to get off his chest in relation to feeling like a Large Marge at times. Let me just beat you to it, commenters. "It puts the lotion on its skin." There. Is that what you were thinking? That's what I was thinking....

Tila Tequila is a Horrible Person AND Rihanna Has Herpes

Tila Tequila Tells The World That Rihanna Has Herpes Bonafide ganked bitch and terrible person Tila Tequila was running her fame-hungry mouth about Rihanna on her blog last night. I guess Rihanna went on some radio show to plug her new album and wound up having to further explain her Chris Brown/assault experience, which lead to the DJs asking about Tila's attacks on Chris which lead to Rihanna dissing Tila as politely as possible in an attempt to just get that topic over with. We're all caught up, right? Tila caught wind of Rihanna's comments vi...

Quotables

Jake Gyllenhaal "I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things. Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." -- Jake Gyllenhaal talks about his relationship with his sister Maggie and his girlfriend Reese's kids. Oh my God! You guys! He totally called Reese his girlfriend in publi...

Julia Roberts Lands New Gig Shilling Make Up

Julia Roberts Well, I have a feeling it's going to be "one of those days". Just being upfront about it. It's a slow news day so far and I didn't even get an hour's sleep last night because there was some crazy fight going on in the apartment next door and then they started doing construction on my street at roughly six AM. I look like I've been up all night smoking crack and trust me, I wish that was the truth because at least I'd have an excuse for reporting on Julia Roberts becoming the new Lancôme spokes...
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