Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Vows to Change Her Ways in 2010

Lindsay Lohan took to her Twitter January 1st to let us know that this year we might be seeing a whole new side of her. Linds said (in the Tweets seen above) that this year she wants to leave behind all negative influences in her life (including people and "habbits") and to keep those she loves in check. God, I love this bitch. Who else is like "All the people I love are so hurtful to me?" Granted, she's got an exceptional situation with those parents of hers, but if you feel like all your frie...

Alexa Ray Joel Wants To Help You With Your Heartbreak-Related Depression

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley's daughter Alexa Ray Joel tried to kill herself last month after a break up and now she wants to make sure that you don't do the same. Alexa, a singer, took to her Facebook blog (Ugh! Just get a Tumblr! Facebook blog?! How tacky!) to tell her fans that not only is she fine, but that she's come out on the other side of her depression wanting to help other girls who might be feeling the way she did when she swallowed a few too many pills. She's even got a speci...

Tiger Goes Topless in Vanity Fair

via Us Weekly Tiger Woods landed himself the cover of Vanity Fair this month looking the best I have ever seen him. To be frank, I thought all those mistresses were driven to his money alone. I had no idea that Tiger could be hot, let alone kinda sorta slammin'. The photo spread taken by Annie Leibovitz before the scandal is accompanied by an essay that was wrote post-scandal by Buzz Bissinger, a Pulitzer Prize winning writer. Yes, the photos make Tiger look good, but the essay is a different story. Bis...

Because You’re Worth It, Girl

Well, look who's having the happiest new year ever! It's the girl who deserves everything and more, Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali jet-skiing around St. Bart's. Lindsay revealed on her Twitter earlier this week that she was there ringing in 2010 on a yacht with some of her homies, including Jay-Z and Beyonce. Remember, kids: If you destroy your reputation and career through drug-induced mood swings and trouble with the law, you can still party in one of the most gorgeous places in the world with ...

Rush Limbaugh’s Heart Has Possibly Quit Wanting to Live Inside of Him

Professional racist, cold-hearted asshole Rush Limbaugh (remember when he said this one: "Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."?) is claiming that all is well health-wise after experiencing heart palpitations in Hawaii on Wednesday. Rush has a long history of drugs, loose women and other things that aren't so easy on the heart, so it's hard to imagine that his ticker is in shape at al...

Elton John Helps Eminem Battle Drug Abuse

Eminem has been battling an addition to prescription pills for over a year now. It's quite common for rehabbed people to stick together for support through programs like Narcotics Anonymous, but what's not so common? When Elton John is your sponsor. The two have stayed close ever since their Grammy performance and right now they're relating to each other a lot more than on that "being famous" level. Elton has quite famously battled substance abuse problems in the past and considers himself t...

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Tell You About The 537th Thing She’s Doing Besides Behaving Right

Lindsay Lohan Tweets About Clothing Line Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan announced on her Twitter that she's releasing a full clothing line. Today that was confirmed on WWD that Linds is, in fact, releasing a line that has more than just leggings. Aw, remember when this girl was an actress? The line is set to include everything from an $18 dollar pair of leggings to a $300 dollar leather jacket and each item purchased comes with the satisfaction of knowing that the woman who approved the design of your clothes is probably spendin...

Quotables

Jersey Shore Cast "The governing body wants it to be known that they did not solicit, promote or participate in the filming of this show. The production company that filmed the show did obtain a shoot permit to film in Seaside Heights, but these permits must be issued as it is a first amendment right to film in public places. Furthermore, the Borough does not condone any discriminatory remarks against Italian Americans, domestic violence or the promiscuous and otherwise bad behavior portrayed on the show." - J...

Charlie Sheen’s Wife Has a Shady Past, But Don’t We All?

Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen Another day in the Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen saga turns up yet another story and this one does not paint a pretty picture of Brooke at all. Turns out that back in the day (1996), Brooke was somewhat of a party animal and was arrested twice, once for a DUI and a second time for cocaine possession. From E! Online: E! News has learned she was arrested on two separate occasions: once for driving under the influence and causing damage to property, and later for possession of cocaine....

Anyone Else Want to See Bradley Cooper’s Ass Crack?

Cooper's Coin Slot Photo Credit: Bauer Grifffin Bradley Cooper went to pick up his pooch in LA today (yup, it's raining) and it looks like SOMEBODY needs to get some new pants. Also, are we in agreement that he probably was going commando? Wouldn't boxers or briefs cover his crack enough for this not to happen? Does Bradley Cooper freeball in corduroys? Do you think he's normally the kind of dude who goes sans underwear, or do you think maybe he just woke up late and threw on some slacks and didn't bother to ...

Someone’s Gotta Giiiiiirrrrrrllllfrrreeennnnn!

[caption id="attachment_52245" align="alignnone" width="333" caption="Image via Radar"]Rosie Steps Out With New Lady Friend[caption id="attachment_52245" align="alignnone" width="333" caption="Image via Radar"][/caption] Remember on Saved by the Bell when Zach and Kelly would kiss, everyone in the "audience" would be like "WoooooOoOoOOoOOooooo!" They did it on Family Matters, too. It was a very 90s sitcom thing to do. Anyway, that's what I've been doing every time I've looked at this photo of Rosie O'Donnell and her new lady friend holding hands in Miami. It's a blast and completely hilarious, trust me. Rosie has b...

Kristen Stewart Seems Like a Miserable Person (But She Might Not Be)

Kristen Stewart I'm not sure if I understand Kristen Stewart or not. I am looking forward to seeing The Runaways, but I might eat a gun if I have to hear the word "Twilight" used in another sentence. I have no opinion on her acting, but I trust people when they say that she's not particularly good at it. I find her public persona to be both insulting and endearing. Yes, she's surprised by her fame and she doesn't seem to care for it at all... yet she's not this great actress so I have a hard time believing tha...