Today's Evil Beet Gossip

SNL Dropped The Ball On Conan & Leno

I've been waiting all week for Saturday Night Live to chip in with some Conan vs. Leno jokes, but sadly, this Larry King Live spoof was pretty much all they had to offer. Seth Meyers did make crack one pretty funny joke during Weekend Update ("This week, you didn’t need Cinemax to see someone get screwed on TV."), but other than that... yeesh. Maybe Zucker threatened to ice them as well?...

Amy Trades Crack For Bronzer

Amy Winehouse is orange. I don't know if she's channeling Snooki or if she and Lohan are BFF now or if she's preparing for an upcoming role as an Oompa Loompa or WHAT. It's been buzzing around that her fiance, good ol' Blake Fielder-Civil, has been cheating on her. Maybe she got sad and thought she'd spice up her look with a self-tanner and a couple glasses of wine and next thing ya know, she's lookin' like the Syracuse mascot. Perhaps Amy's special glow was the reason why she made a beeline for...

Yeah. And I’m Naturally Aloof and Constantly Hungry.

Ever since Brittany Murphy dropped dead at the age of 32 last month, rumors have been swirling that her death was drug related. Her declining weight, career and sanity in the years leading up to her death are typically considered to be signs of drug use, so the connection was undeniable. But Brittany's mother, whom she was very close with, is speaking out against these rumors. Sharon Murphy told People of her late daughter, "She never even drank. Maybe a glass of champagne at New Years. But eve...

Is Tiger in Sex Rehab?

Tiger Woods maybe possibly donated a mobile hospital to the Haitian earthquake victims, but other than that he's been pretty off the radar the last couple weeks. Every day we're hearing rumors about the status of his marriage, but Tiger hasn't been photographed or seen anywhere in awhile. According the People.com, he could be in the one place he belongs: Sex rehab. From People: Several Web sites claim that the embattled golf great is undergoing rehabilitation for sexual addiction at a resp...

Quotables

"Russell Crowe. There’s no graciousness or humility about him. You can be talented but you also need luck to become successful and he has no gratitude. I’ve interviewed him for various awards shows. I know a lot of things that he’s allegedly said to people." - Joan Rivers tells Metro about the rudest celebrity she's ever encountered on the red carpet. Let's hope that Russell doesn't show face at the Globes tonight because that could be awkward....

Tila Tequila: “Miley Cyrus is NOT a Virgin!”

Damn. Tila Tequila is on a tear. I am addicted to her Twitter the way that she's addicted to whatever it is that makes her so watchable. I know, I know. She's an attention whore, I shouldn't be talking about her, but I really doubt we're going to have much time left with the girl. Let's pay attention to her while we still can. You know, while she's still alive. Last night on Twitter (feed via ONTD) Tila shed light on many Hollywood mysteries. According to her, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashi...

Everybody Can Breathe Now

The cast of Jersey Shore has been in LA for the last week and trust me when I say that this town has felt a lot dirtier this week. I thought it was because Mercury was in retrograde, but it was probably just these guys. Snooki, The Sitch and the rest of the gang hammed it up for the cameras before their flight home outside of LAX and then inside (I am sparing you the pictures of Snooki poking her little squash head through the crowds in baggage claim, but yeah! Those exist.) I see photos of cele...

Quotables

“I don’t feel the need to clear anything up. It’s the most precious thing that I have in my life, and I care about it so much that I don’t care about what anyone says or thinks. I have just not addressed it in any real way, and I’m not going to. It’s mine. And I really like that about it.” - Jessica Biel tells Vogue why she won't be telling them about her relationship with Justin Timberlake....

17-Year Old Miley Cyrus Not Ready to Marry 19-Year Old Boyfriend Who Lives On the Other Side of the World

This little drama queen was seen out and about this week with a fancy little ring on her left finger, but her rep was quick to deny that Miley is engaged to her BF Liam Hemsworth. I wear rings on my left ring finger all the time, but no one gives a shit if I'm married or not. Miley had to have known that rocking that ring on her finger after she's been seen in public with her man so much lately that she'd be causing a stir. Right? Thank goodness the rumor's not true, though. Miley is only ...

HBIC Hits Hawaii

Does anyone else love Roseanne? I will watch Roseanne any time it's on television, even if it's those really depressing episodes they made after the Conner's won the lottery. That being said, I love the woman herself too. She's always saying really smart things and she's ballsy and awesome and her stand up is totally unforgettable. For the young readers out there, Roseanne is like my Taylor Swift. That's why I think it's totally OK to post a photo gallery of her in Hawaii chillin' out before a stand up gig. Just eating some ...

You Can Look Like the Cheapest Woman in the Room For Only $40

The next person who has no business designing clothes to be designing clothes has just revealed herself: It's JWOWW, you guys. From Jersey Shore. You know, JWOWW? The one with the breasts and the scarfs that she uses to cover those breasts. You know the breasts and the scarves? OK, well, she's selling the scarves in six different colors on her website, except she calls them shirts. The official description? Ladies, if you purchase one of these shirts and would like to be on my website, take a...
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