Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hello!? More Like Lie!

Well, Prince William is completely, totally not attractive anymore. I think we've all seen this coming for awhile. His thinning hair and crazier-by-the-day teeth have been creeping up for awhile, but now he's gone and really done it. Homeboy's dying his hair. And Hello! is "cheeky" enough to put that mess next to the headline "THE REAL WILLIAM", because apparently we're supposed to either be impressed or find this funny. I am neither, Hello! I am neither. There's nothing cute about a semi-young ma...

They’re Finally Getting Married

Guess what, bitches? Three years and two kids later, Joel Madden and Nicole Richie are finally ready to make it official. Last night at a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman (due to air on Friday), Dave asked his guest Nicole if she and he man had gotten engaged yet. Although we're pretty used to hearing the whole "we don't feel the need to get married" bit out those those two, Nicole threw a curve ball and said, "We actually recently are engaged, yes." I know that these two caught a ...

Marry/Dump/Date: Lily Allen, Lady Gaga and Leona Lewis

The Brit Awards were last night in London and you may notice a common theme between its female attendees: They're all dressed crazy. I thought that this would be a perfect time to play a game of Marry/Dump/Date (you may know it as F**k/Marry/Kill, but we don't need to be that graphic.) It's easy! Just take a look at Lily Allen, Lady Gaga and Leona Lewis in their crazy getups from last night and figure out in your head which one you'd marry, which one you'd dump and which one you'd like to dat...

Quotables

“He didn’t make me go brunette! John doesn’t get credit for making me brunette. He’d like to think so, but he doesn’t deserve the credit.” -Jessica Simpson attempts to tell Allure that John Mayer didn't make dye her hair when they were dating, but I'm not so sure I believe that....

It Turns Out That That Bitch Was On Crack, After All

Uh-oh. It was reported during Charlie Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller's first rehab stay that homegirl was there to beat an addiction to crack, but not only did her family deny the claim, but it just sounded fake. Crack? Who the hell does crack that isn't Whitney Houston or homeless? Well, I guess Brooke Mueller does because she's back in rehab again and this time the people in Brooke's life aren't keeping so quiet. From Radar: “Brooke has been in denial about her problem for a long time,” ...

Joan Boners Ahoy!

Damn, son. Check out Christina Hendricks aka Joan from Mad Men on the most recent cover of New York Magazine. Not only is Christina a favorite female star amongst women because of her sexy style and healthy, voluptuous body, but pretty much every guy I know would stab someone in the face just to touch one of her boobs once for a half a second. Christina told the magazine that the attention her body got was a little bit much for her at first and said, “It kind of hurt my feelings at first. An...

Chynna Phillips Enters Rehab For Anxiety And No One Will Say What She Was Freaking Out About

It was just announced that Chynna Phillips, sister to Mackenzie and Bijou, has checked in the rehab for anxiety. As if it doesn't sound fishy enough when a celeb checks in to the 'hab for exhaustion or hoarding, right? Chynna's husband though, actor Billy Baldwin, doesn't really care what you think. In an interview with Radar, Billy sets the record straight about his wife's treatment. Here are some choice quotes: “It doesn’t really matter to me what’s being said about me in the press. I h...

Fashion Week Has At Least One Noteworthy Moment

Fashion Week has been such a snore this year that I really haven't been covering it much, but there are always a few moments that are worth an instant replay. This week's highlight thus far has definitely been model Agyness Deyn eating dirt at Naomi Campbell's fashion show for Haiti. What is it about watching models fall that's so damn fun? Is it as simple as the fact that it's gratifying to watch someone who is seemingly perfect fall on their face? I think so....

Family Guy Takes One Hell Of a Shot at Sarah Palin

Did you guys catch the last episode of Family Guy? If not, check out the clip above. It's a scene where Chris goes on a date with a mentally retarded girl, who uhhhh, kinda sorta happens to be the daughter of a former Alaskan governor? While Sarah Palin's name is never mentioned, an animated retarded girl claiming that her mother is a former Alaskan governor is a pretty clear jab. The subject of Sarah's son Trig's downs syndrome has been in the news quite a bit. It's unfortunate that Sarah Palin is so disliked, and I say th...

The Octomom is Looking Flawless

Look who was out in London last night looking ever-so-gorgeous. It's everyone's second favorite mother of eight, Nadya Suleman! Homegirl must be getting lots of help at home, because this 49 year old super mommy is looking surprisingly fit and well-rested. Oh, what's that you say? That's NOT the Octomom? That's Lindsay Lohan!?!? Oh, sweet Jesus. Dear Lord! What?!!? Lindsay Lohan? That hot redhead from Mean Girls? Oh my God. What the hell happened to her? [gallery]...

Hey Rio, Tell Me How My Ass Taste

Paris Hilton lived it up in Rio this weekend with her idiot boyfriend while hosting a Valentine's Day bash. In her downtime, Paris did what Paris does, which is shaking that ass for the camera. The paps caught up with ParPar on her hotel balcony, and upon spotting the cameras, she immediately stuck her ass out and starting posing. You gotta love a creature of habit, you know? [gallery]...

It Turns Out That The Only Thing That Can Stop Jack Bauer Is a Ruptured Cyst

National treasure Kiefer Sutherland is dealing with some unfortunate health issues that are temporarily halting production on his show 24. KiefKief suffered from a ruptured cyst earlier this week and the problem is so painful that he wont be able to continue working until he's given it proper medical treatment. From E! News: "While Kiefer Sutherland is frustrated to miss even one day of work, he and Fox decided together that it would be best to complete this minor elective procedure now as a prec...
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