Right. Golden Globes whatever. Did you see the ass-whupping that the Packers took from the frigging New York Giants last evening? Sick. This whole weekend was sick. Only one of my picks won, and that was Ravens over Texans, not that anyone was really surprised by that. AND MY SAINTS LOST. To the 49ers. Football, I am so disappointed in you today. You should have been so, so much better. For me.
Anyway, you’re probably here to hear about the Golden Globe Awards, not listen to me malign football and certain teams’ roughhousing tendencies that result in undeserved wins, 49ers poor Pierre Thomas.
Here’s the winners. They’re a lot less surprising than those who won in OTHER things this past weekend.
Best Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
War Horse
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
50/50
WINNER: The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: George Clooney, The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender, Shame
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Musical
WINNER: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson The Guard
Joseph Gordon Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris
Best Actor in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks, Drive
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method
WINNER: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Actress in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
WINNER: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants
Best TV Series – Drama
American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game of Thrones
WINNER: Homeland
Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Hugh Bonnevile, Downton Abbey
WINNER: Idris Elba, Luther
William Hurt, Too Big to Fail
Bill Nighy, Page Eight
Dominic West, The Hour
Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
WINNER: Kelsey Grammer, Boss
Jeremy Irons, The Borgias
Damian Lewis, Homeland
Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Romola Garai, The Hour
Diane Lane, Cinema Verite
Elizabeth McGovern, Downtown Abbey
Emily Watson, Appropriate Adult
WINNER: Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce
Best Director – Motion Picture
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
WINNER: Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
WINNER: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin
Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy
Jodie Foster, Carnage
Charlize Theron, Young Adult
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
WINNER: Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet, Carnage
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
WINNER: Midnight in Paris
The Ides of March
The Artist
The Descendants
Moneyball
Best Animated Feature Film
WINNER: The Adventures of Tin-Tin
Arthur Christmas
Cars 2
Puss N Boots
Rango
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
WINNER: “Masterpiece” — W.E.
Music & Lyrics by: Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry
“Hello Hello” — Gnomeo & Juliet
Music by: Elton John
Lyrics by: Bernie Taupin
“The Keeper” — Machine Gun Preacher
Music & Lyrics by: Chris Cornell
“Lay Your Head Down” — Albert Nobbs
Music by: Brian Byrne
Lyrics by: Glenn Close
“The Living Proof” — The Help
Music by: Mary J. Blige, Thomas Newman, Harvey Mason Jr.
Lyrics by: Mary J. Blige, Harvey Mason Jr., Damon Thomas
Best Original Score – Motion Picture
WINNER: The Artist
W.E.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
War Horse
Best Foreign Language Film
Flowers of War
In the Land of Blood and Honey
The Kid With the Bike
The Skin I Live In
WINNER: A Separation
Best TV Series – Comedy
Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
WINNER: Modern Family
New Girl
Best Actor in a TV Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
David Duchovny, Californication
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane, Hung
WINNER: Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Best Actress in a TV Series Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Laura Dern, Enlightened
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Best Actress in a TV Drama Series
WINNER: Claire Danes, Homeland
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Madeline Stowe, Revenge
Callie Thorne, Necessary Roughness
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
WINNER: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Paul Giamatti, Too Big to Fail
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Tim Robbins, Cinema Verite
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
WINNER: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Kelly MacDonald, Game of Thrones
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce
Best TV Movie or Miniseries
Cinema Verite
WINNER: Downton Abbey
The Hour
Mildred Pierce
Too Big to Fail
Does that make you happy? Say, happier than this, if you’re me:
Uh, I think Kelly MacDonald was nominated for Boardwalk Empire. But I know it’s hard to keep it straight, all those British-y, Scottish-y accented people. And now here she is in an American series, taken our JERBS.
I’m stoked Laura Dern won. I love that Enlightened show, and she tears it up.
Completely stupid that the Dinklage was in the same category as Eric Stonestreet. The supporting actors should have been divided into comedy and drama categories just like the main actors. Who arranges this shite?
And by that I mean, who hands out the globes.
But on a happy note, Yay Jessica Lange!!