New Couple Alert: Ryan Phillippe and His Cowering Mystery Date

Listen, blondie. We can still see you.

Try as you might to hide yourself behind your new boyfriend Ryan Phillippe, we can still see you.

I am sure that, ordinarily, you are great at hide-and-seek. You can hide behind things like trees and light poles and mailboxes and stop signs. You can probably fold yourself to fit into small compartments. You can shimmy into the narrowest crawlspaces. I have no doubt.

But if you really don’t want to look like you’re the girl currently dating Ryan Phillippe, I recommend just walking forward like a normal person, doing your very best to not duck and hide behind Ryan Phillippe. Because the ducking, that is what actually looks suspicious.

Worse, it makes you look like you’re embarrassed to be dating Ryan Phillippe—almost as if you wouldn’t be caught dead dating Ryan Phillippe.

Unless… whoa, wait a minute! Oh, no! Are you embarrassed to be dating Ryan Phillippe? Oh, hon! I understand. I do. In that case, go ahead and hide.

(Gallery via Celebuzz.)