Can I tell you guys a secret? I really think that Angelina Jolie is a little boring. I know that it’s because I got into celebrity gossip after she was already done drinking blood and making out with her brother and doing heroin, but, no joke, the most fun I’ve ever had writing anything about Angelina Jolie was that time I discovered that she had a problem with velvet. That’s what this woman has come to: fabrics and her caravan of kids. I’m not saying that’s a bad life or that she should change, but in a world where we have Courtney Stodden obsessing over felatting Santa Claus, she’s going to get overlooked.
But today, we have excerpts from a pretty adorable interview Angelina did with Marie Claire, so today, Angelina Jolie is appreciated:
On the movie she wrote and directed, In the Land of Blood and Honey: Her latest film reveals the horrors of the war in the former Yugoslavia through the romance between Danijel, a Serbian office, and a Muslim woman named Ajla. The film is shot in the Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian language and it is subtitled in English. “I think it is still hard to understand what happened, and how it could happen 40 minutes away from Italy in the ’90s, at the time ‘Schindler’s List’ came out,” Angelina says. “You can’t make sense of something that innately doesn’t make sense: to rape and kill your neighbor with whom you have lived forever,” she added.
On writing the screenplay: Jolie told Marie Claire that writing the movie began as “an excuse to get out some of my frustrations [with] the international community and justice issues. I just assumed nobody would ever see or read it.” The 36-year-old actress then admitted that, “Some of the very darkest sections were probably conceived in Shiloh’s art class; I was in the back corner, waiting for the kids to finish. And then somehow it slowly ended up being read by Brad, and then friends. There was a discussion of making it, and I just was terrified to hand it over to anybody. It wasn’t that I said, ‘I’m going to write something, and I want to direct it.'”
On friends: “Well, I have a few girlfriends. I just…I stay home a lot. I’m just not very social. I don’t do a lot with them, and I’m very homebound.”
On retiring: “That doesn’t mean I’m stopping tomorrow. But I woke up one day realizing, God, I’m an actor. I don’t think I intended to be an actor. I think my mother wanted it for me. I loved telling stories, and I enjoyed the profession, but it is too late to be something else?,” the actress says.
On her family: The actress told the magazine that Pitt “has expanded my life in ways I never imagined. We built a family. He is not just the love of my life, he is my family. I hold that very dear.” She also confesses that she is very thankful to Brad. “I suppose what I’ve learned from Brad is to be able to have the kind of family whose happiness and well-being comes before your own. I’m very, very grateful to have such a loving family, and I wouldn’t have that without him,” Angelina explains.
On the kids and the possibility of more: “If they see Mommy and Daddy in need of some private time ’cause they’re going to kiss and whatever, the kids get all giggly and happy. Because it gives them some security,” Jolie says. What about having another baby? “Nothing planned at the moment, but we just don’t know. I could end up pregnant,” Angelina says.
On the children’s thoughts of marriage: Jolie admits that, “They have mentioned it, yes. If you take it in an emotional way, you think, Ohhh, the children! They don’t feel secure enough! But then you think, Now, wait a minute: They think a wedding is a party with a four-layer tiered cake!”
So, there you have it. She might not drink blood anymore but, as of right now, she is pretty damn cute, right?
No, she is not cute. At all. I don’t believe this aw-shucks thing she tries to work at all. She wrote a screenplay but never meant for anyone to read it? I call bullshit. She doesn’t have a lot of friends because she’s a man-stealing, sanctimonious weirdo.
Whew… sorry about that.