Blind Item Blitz

*Drum beat*

Are you ready, Liz? (“Uh-huh.”)
Mireee? (“Yeah.”)
Chuck? (“OK.”)
All right, readers!
Let’s goooooooooooooooo!

*Guitar riff*

Here’s one from Buzzfoto. Everyone says Buzzfoto’s gossip blinds are a load of hooey, but they can’t all be wrong. Right?

This once A-list, award-winning actor has dropped off the radar in the last few years. A source tells us he obsessively watches right-wing news and radio broadcasts like Glenn Beck, while stocking up on gold and weapons, preparing for ‘the end.’ His friends have tried to offer help, but he complains to our source that they are ‘nothing but Hollywood liberal socialists’ who have an agenda. His family and friends are worried as he’s becoming more extreme, and the source also claims he’s shelled out big bucks to install a bunker on his property.

I consulted with my friend Mike on this one, and he landed a pretty good guess: Jon Voight.

No matter your personal politics, it checks out. Except for Tower Heist, Voight’s last movie was like three years ago. Since then he’s been waaaay into politics—last year, the Washington Post published Voight’s scathing “open letter” to President Obama, in which Voight wrote, “You have brought to Arizona a civil war,” and “Your destruction of this country may never be remedied, and we may never recover.”

And there you have it. Jon Voight is probably building a secret bunker.

“Oh, man,” my friend Mike said to me after I suggested his guess was solid. “Could I have gotten it in one?” Then: “Please don’t let it be Freddie Prinze, Jr.”

And the man in the back said “everyone’s on crack”
and it turned into a Blind Item Blitz!
And the girl in the corner said, “Jenn, I gotta warn you
“This’ll turn into a Blind Item Blitz!”

Here’s a major Blind from the Entertainment Lawyer at Crazy Days and Nights:

This barely B-list actress who has had some great roles in popcorn movies that bombed is pregnant. She has not announced it yet, not because she is not happy, but because she is still trying to figure out who the father is. Rumor has it that it might be this married B list co-star of one of her bigger bombs.

OK, for this one, almost is guessing Olivia Wilde. Just, yikes. I don’t even want to speculate as to who Dad is because, again, we’re guessing from a pool of married dudes.

Yeah, this whole thing is pretty gnarly.

It’s! It’s! A Blind Item Blitz! It’s! It’s! A Blind Item Blitz!