The other day, I was watching The Reaping with my boyfriend, you know, that Hilary Swank movie about the plagues and all that? And we had that conversation that everyone has when they watch a Hilary Swank movie, the one where someone is like “do you think she’s pretty?” and everyone is like “wellll …” He also asked what Hilary had been up to in the past few years, and I honestly didn’t know. It’s been a long long time since I’ve heard any gossip at all about Hilary Swank. But then I checked, and you guys, Hilary Swank has been up to a lot. And it’s not good.
See, it all started when Hilary was asked to attend a birthday party for the president of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, last week. And Hilary was like “yeah, sure, sounds like a blast!” and she went and gave this speech:
Note the part where that one guy is all “how did you know about this gig?” and Hilary goes “I read. I do my research.” Because the thing is that either Hilary is a liar who does not do her research or she is a cold-hearted shell of a lady, because it turns out that the president of Chechnya is actually not such a great guy. As in, he’s accused of torturing and murdering people.
So all these human rights groups are like “Hilary, what are you doing?” and Hilary has to issue this apology, saying that “I deeply regret attending this event. If I had a full understanding of what this event was apparently intended to be, I would never have gone.” She’s also saying that she’s going to donate the money she got for her appearance to charity, which makes it ok that she flashed her big goofy smile and gave a “happy birthday, Mr. President” to a dude who murders people.
Are we all caught up? I think so. Should we really hate Hilary? I’m not sure. Maybe a little.
Just about everyone bows to the almighty dollar sign at some point in their life, I guess it just depends on how far one is willing to prostrate themselves. Shes not the first, Beyonce & a bunch of other r&b/hip hop artists recently did a show for the Gaddafi family for millions each…. Linda Ronstadt played Sun City while Mandela was imprisoned on Robben Island. My point being, while certainly not begrudging someone to make money, just how much is enough? I say fuck ’em all!
Upon further research, I find myself asking a question. If Hilary Swank is truly sorry, is it because;
A. She attended a celebration for a pint-sized egomaniac with a Hitler complex?
B. She got caught?
C. She had to share the celebrity spotlight with none other than Jean-Claude Van Damme?
I for one won’t be mollified or assured of her sincerity until Ms. Swank dons a Sarah mask & shows us her titz!!!