Emily gave you a sneak-peek the other day into what it’s like to be married to Courtney Stodden (answer: bizarre), and now we’ve got some quotes directly from the twitchy horse’s mouth! Courtney, in the same interview, talks arousal, housekeeping, and eventually becoming an actress (um … LOL).
On husband Doug, teaching her how to “act”:
“He’s teaching me acting, thank you. We just did a little acting class two nights ago. We have to resume that.”
On how labia-whipped she’s got the formerly-revered actor:
“He’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, he’s like the wife around the house. He picks up the slack around the house and that’s very inspiring to me.”
What UNDERAGE SEX was like with someone who could be her grandfather:
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.”
Oh EW EW EW.
And last, but not least, her take on “resurrecting” Doug’s life by marrying him:
“I think it [the criticism] was because he was 51 and his life is over and I’m just venturing out on mine. I’m here to make the second half of [Doug’s] life a lot better!”
Are we excited about this reality show yet? Like, Christmas-morning excited?
GIF courtesy of Buzzfeed
that gif is ah.maz.ing
OK, I’ll admit it: I’m drunk, and I didn’t read this article. It’s been a rough day.
But I don’t need to read this article (which I know is well written because Sarah wrote it) because whenever I hear about this poor, misguided child- because she is a child who has only had a driver’s license for 2 years at most- I know that I will be reading about some insipid Twitter remark that includes the words “sensual” or “aroused”.
Anyway, I just thought I’d tell you all that, sober or not, as much as I despise her, I still can’t turn away from a Courtney Stodden piece.
Courtney Stodden makes me very, very sad. To think that someone could be 16 years old and decide that the best she can do in life is marry some obscure actor almost three times her age and turn herself into some queasifying caricature of a sexpot. She didn’t even make it through high school. But I guess if your alternative future reality is squeezing out babies between shifts at the local McDonald’s and tidying up the trailer, the former might look good.
I keep forgetting that she’s a child…
“queasifying”…very good, pufinstuf. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….Anna Nicole Smith, the sequel.
child my ass! i could’ve typed that phony birth certificate up EASY.
I need advice on how to not look at this gif for the rest of my life.
It’s hypnotic! Like one of those fireplace screensavers!