Love It or Leave It: Miley Cyrus Is Still Wrong

For a good long while, I (and I’m pretty sure everyone else around these parts) have been of the opinion that Miley Cyrus generally needs to class up, cover up, or just shut up. And while I have, on several occasions, stated that Miley needs to pray about dressing just a touch more conservatively, this business she wore to the VMAs is not at all what I had in mind.

It’s all about finding a happy medium, Miley. There’s a place between dressing like an actual prostitute and dressing like a Golden Girl, and you can find that place if only you look for it. I believe in you, sister.

Ok, ulterior motives: I’ve had this Miley Cyrus story for weeks that I’ve been dying to share, and now I finally have a chance. Ok, my brother-in-law’s mother died, and that was really sad, she was a really sweet lady and that part isn’t funny at all. But the rest of the entire family is all rednecks and meth, you know the type, and my brother-in-law’s sister is one of the worst. She’s about 40, has a handful of kids, and there’s some kind of drug addiction going on, and now you’re caught up. It turns out that, against her mother’s express wishes, she was planning on singing a song at the funeral. And I got all this information from my mother, who told me that she was going to sing a Miley Cyrus song. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because really? So I tried to figure out which song she was singing, and my mom goes “the chorus has something about butterflies, like butterflies flying away?”

For a good few weeks, I thought this lady was going to sing “Party in the U.S.A.” at her mother’s funeral before I figured out that Miley is just kind of unoriginal and has a much more fitting song called “Butterfly Fly Away.” But I was this close to knowing the most white trash tale that ever was, and that’s good enough for me.

But yeah, how ’bout that dress, huh?