Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Britney Did This Shit Sober???

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Life & Style is reporting that Britney was drug tested at the hospital, and the test came back negative.

“Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind,” a source close to the Spears family said.

Okay, look, I’d almost feel a little comforted if she’d been high or drunk. Then we could be like, “Listen, let’s get this girl into a rehab, sober her ass up, and see if she can be a functional mother to her children.” But if she was already sober? What the fuck do you do??? She’s just fucking crazy. This is all fun and games until you realize that this is the only mother these children have. Then it’s just painfully sad. I always thought my mom was fucking crazy growing up, but now I’m like, “Hm, she never kidnapped me or had to be rushed to the hospital for total insanity. That was nice of her.” I guess I could have turned out much worse.

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