LOL Justin Bieber is Launching a Fragrance for Deh Wimmenz

Let’s take a guess as to what it’s going to smell like. I’m thinking something like ABC gum (har har har), nocturnal emissions, and … pencil shavings. Yup.

And you know what? Justin himself claims that the scent is a ‘fruity gourmand,’ so I’m probably pretty close with my guess. And also, what teenager (aside from the ones who have NYU lit graduates as publicists) uses the word ‘gourmand’? I’m no idiot, but I had to Google that shit to make sure I read it right. I’m sure I could have whipped out my good old context clue skills to figure out what he specifically meant by this, but THIS IS THE AGE OF TECHNOLOGY, guys. NO ONE has to think for themselves anymore, you know?

Anyway, the perfume is called ‘Someday,’ and while Justin himself didn’t create it, he had a large hand in how the concept came to life:

“Let’s be real, the way a girl smells is very important to a guy! I have such a deep connection with my fans, so creating a fragrance that I personally love is another way I can bring them closer to my world.”

Yes, let’s be real, shall we?: there’s no fucking way I’d spend $55 on ANYTHING even remotely related to Justin Bieber.