Well, now that we’ve addressed quality television and the women that made it, let’s move on to the crazy shit: The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
The third season premiered last night and you know that I was stationed on my couch at 9:30 on the nose with a glass of wine and a bag of FritoLay Munchies ready to go. Those bitches are my shit, I live for them, I live for their drama and their fashions and their lifestyle. Live. For. Them.
Here are my notes:
1) I am so glad that this appears to be a Teresa-centered season. I think we all knew after last year’s reunion that there was shit going on with Teresa’s family that we didn’t even know about. My gay husband and I theorized all summer long and honestly? We were thinking that Teresa’s brother’s wife gave birth to Teresa’s husband Joe’s baby. Like, we got pretty dreamy with our conspiracy theories. However, I was not disappointed to find out that they only hate each other because Joe’s a drinker who’s made Teresa’s father kind of turn his back on his son. And I LOVED watching folks throw down at a Christening. That’s some real ethnic white people shit right there. I’m Irish and we’re equally as “passionate” as the Italians, so I really related to watching two grown men get shitfaced and duke it out at a Christening. God bless THAT, am I right?
2) Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley needs to step her fucking game up. I think we can all recall a time when we were a slightly entitled teenager, but Ashely expecting her parents to move her into the city because she can’t go to her bomb-ass internship ever day via the train? Mmmm. No. I did not care for that. Also, Jacqueline really needs to squash whatever kinship her daughter seems to think she has with Lizzie Grubman. That woman is CRAY-CRAY and if she was rubbing my daughter’s back on national television and telling her that she was her carbon copy, I would drag her out of there by her hair, throw on the first train back to Jersey and never look back.
3) I love everything that’s going on with the Manzo family, but Caroline really needs to work on cutting that cord. Her three kids are grown to the point where it’s almost embarrassing that none of them had moved out of her home and she’s crying with fear and sadness at the though of her two sons leasing an apartment less then 30 minutes away? C’mon, Caroline. Don’t be that unhealthy mother. Albie’s like, five years shy of 30. Don’t make a big deal out of him moving out of the house. And stop asking Lauren’s boyfriend when he’s going to propose at family dinner. Poor Vito, right? Didn’t you feel so awkward for him?
Let’s get into this more in the comments and in the poll. I could talk about this all freakin’ day (and I have been, who are we kidding?) so let’s just explore all of our thoughts/feelings, okay?
The crazy one to watch is Teresa’s sister-in law’s sister. She was the one stirring it up, worse than Kim G did last year, looks like she’s the one that made sure they were invited to the christening and then just called her trash. I’m trying to figure out how next week they are all family again, and looks like the sister in law is singing at a strip club or something. Love it.
Those are some ugly kids. It’s what you get when you rub two butts together.