Heads Up, Ladies: Kanye Describes His Ideal Woman

Are there cool terms like “Bieber Fever” concerning Kanye? Because that’s what I have. Maybe I have West Vile virus. Get it, like West Nile because his last name is West, but Vile instead of Nile because a river isn’t involved and in reality I think he’s ridiculous? Yeah, I think I’m going with that. I have a sarcastic strain of the West Vile virus, and I’m in bad shape. And for all you ladies who are with me in this sickened state, Kanye had the decency to let us know what he’s looking for in the love department:

I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m looking and trying to decide who the mother of my child will be. It’s not going to be based off a whim of being in love; she has to bring a certain level to the table. I want to be married, I want that super dope counterpart, that one woman, but she has to be super-fresh, super-smart and not overwhelmed, because being with me is gonna be a job (laughs). She can’t be overwhelmed by her career. I’ll find her, maybe I’ll be 38… maybe I’m not fully who I am yet, maybe that’s why I haven’t found her… The main quality is that you know that this person will ride or die for you. Whether she’s mad at you, whether she’s with you or not, she still loves you, she still bigs you up in any circle. She doesn’t talk down about you to other people. That’s the main thing I need.

Kanye, I was right there with you, I really was. I am for sure super dope, and there is no doubt in my mind about my ability to ride or die. But your big requirement of not talking shit about you? I just can’t do that. That’s my job, Kanye.

Good luck to the rest of you gals. Here’s to your super-freshness.