Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Roseanne is Running for President


Roseanne Bar set up shop in our nation’s capital yesterday to announce that she’s running for President of the United States and Prime Minister of Isreal. Before you shut her down, watch these videos. I gotta say, she makes some good points:

“…I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law, the Patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble, as will the concept of war itself, which is largely a large load of bullshit.”

“The people must have justice, and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine – a fast and painless execution of justice, and of execution. There’s simply no kinder way of death than a swift and painless death.”

“All prime ministers, queens, and presidents will be required to fight in the very first infantry wave of any war they authorize. Trust me, this will make for some productive peace talks, people.”

I don’t think Roseanne expects her campaign to get very far, but she’s always spoke her mind and her thoughts are totally valid. Hopefully those who actually have a chance of getting elected are listening!

If you had to elect an actor for president, who do you think would do the best job?

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • after reading a transcript of her entire speech, i can only say that for the first time in my life i wish i was american, only so i could vote for her <3

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  • “All prime ministers, queens, and presidents will be required to fight in the very first infantry wave of any war they authorize. Trust me, this will make for some productive peace talks, people.”

    Love that idea!

  • Marvelous. Especially the bit about the Guillotine.

    As for my celebrity of choice? Well . . . honestly, “Paris For President,” aside from the silliness involved, seemed to set up some very enticing political platforms. But I don’t know if I could trust a person enough to vote for her (or him) if that person doesn’t love giving head. That’s like a person who doesn’t like eating or listening to music.

  • I like many of her concepts. In fact, were I to become president, I too would use the guillotine. But, let’s be clear. What’s good for the gander is also good for the goose. I would put her to the guillotine, and many, many millions like her.

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