Zac Efron Is A Beautiful Person

Back when High School Musical was the most popular thing that ever happened, I loved Zac Efron.  I mean, that “Get Your Head in the Game” bullshit made me a little dead inside, and if I had to read the High School Musical yearbook aloud one more time I would have just snapped, but my nieces outnumbered me and I had to find some sunshine somewhere.  And that’s what Zac Efron was, he was that sunshine.  Fortunately, my nieces have moved on (have you guys ever heard of Twilight?), but now I’m finding that I love Zac just the same.

In a recent interview with Details, Zac Efron spoke on the topics of poison oak, Shia LaBeouf, Tom Cruise, and more. Here are some of the more charming excerpts:

On his current situation with poison oak: “I went backpacking over Memorial Day weekend and I just got the worst poison oak, bro,” he says. “It was my first time getting it. Dude, it’s, like, everywhere. Everywhere. I can’t even begin to show you, ’cause you’ll get so grossed out. I look like a zombie from Dawn of the Dead.”

On being told not to smile so much for his role in Hairspray: “It’s not how I am,” Efron says. “Even in my audition I was smiling and happy. Not cool.”

On Shia LaBeouf’s “I don’t give a fuck” personality:  “I’m so jealous of that,” Efron says of LaBeouf, whom he doesn’t know personally. “Yeah, that’s awesome to not give a shit. And Shia still pulls it off. That’s so cool. It’s just awesome. It just comes easy to some people.”

On Tom Cruise, who invited him over to his house for motorcycle lessons: “I get the feeling that he works really, really hard. It didn’t come from swagger with him. It came from dedication, hard work. You see it in the way he physicalizes everything. You watch The Last Samurai and that’s him! He’s really doing that.” I ask Efron why he supposes Cruise bothered reaching out to him. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t even want to know. It’s just so cool that he gave a shit, the fact that he cared at all. No one else did that.”

On running water over his poison oak wounds: “Oh…my…God,” Efron says with a gasp. “It’s like the best…orgasm…ever! And I just keep coming!”

When asked why he’s dating Vanessa Hudgens instead of taking advantage of his fame and “bathing in pussy”: “Bathe in pussy?” he repeats. “Yeah, everyone tells me that. I think a lot of guys would enjoy that. But I’m not really like that.” I point out that he does not know if he would enjoy this or not, since he has never been famous and single. “Believe me,” he says. “I rack my brain thinking, ‘Why am I not out there playing the field?’ One of my buddies was like, ‘You have no idea what’s going on right now. You’re peaking on Ecstasy and you’re watching TV.’ But it’s not in my heart.”

How adorable does he sound?  The interviewer refers to him as “the nicest guy in town,” and that’s pretty much what he sounds like. I think I’m going to have to ask my nieces for a J-14 poster or something.