Demi Moore Dishes on Bruce Willis, Ashton Kutcher and Other Really Interesting Stuff

Demi Moore’s agent, Luke Janklow, confirmed earlier last night that the preternaturally preserved 47 year-old is penning her memoirs and isn’t going to leave any topics out. Moore is said to cover details of her marriage and divorce to Bruce Willis, career moves from General Hospital to major motion pictures and bumping uglies with Ashton Kutcher.

Moore is currently shopping publishers in New York City and anticipates that the book will be released sometime early next year.

In light of this fact, I’ve put together my very own Top Ten list of things that I fucking hope like hell will be included in Moore’s autobiography. Without further ado … The List:

10. Dishing on her hometown of Roswell, New Mexico. She’s the queen of non-aging. She must have learned some secrets from them-there aliens.

9. How she overcame the stigma of her crossed-eyes as a child. It was said that she had undergone two eye surgeries in order to correct the problem and damn … they did a good job.

8. Starring alongside Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. She might actually be able to tell us what he was like during his heyday … you know, back when he wasn’t (as) crazy.

7. If the leeches she claims to use as an anti-aging regimen work and if they’ve ever bitten her on the ass.

6. If she boned Patrick Swayze during the filming of Ghost. With chemistry like that, just … damn.

5. How much she actually spent on the plastic surgery that she didn’t get and what she specifically had done.

4. Why the hell she produced the Austin Powers movies. That in itself is shadowed in a guise of troublesome ennui.

3. What the sex was like with John McClane Bruce Willis.

2. What the sex is like with Ashton Kutcher.

And the number one topic that I hope she addresses in her new book:

1. Did she really bang Nikki Sixx?