Johnny Depp is Not Dead

Don’t go posting those RIP comments on the Youtube video for Bone Thugs’ “Crossroads” just yet: Johnny Depp is not dead.

For the record, neither is Paul McCartney, Paris Hilton, Taylor Lautner, Jeff Goldblum, Tom Hanks, Will Ferrel, John Goodman, Eminem, or (incredibly) Lou Reed.

Depp was the subject of death rumors this weekend that placed him on the receiving end of a fatal car crash. We’ve been down this road before. It’s a familiar one:

A) Someone starts a rumor, intentionally or otherwise, that a famous person has died tragically.

B) The interwebs–never one to be a stickler for facts or proof– spreads said rumor like an HPV infection in the Jersey Shore house

C) Tragically dead celebrity is recipient of bewildering phone calls in which they (or more accurately, their publicist) have the surreal job of proving that they are not, in fact, dead.

This isn’t the first time rumor’s of Depp’s death have been greatly exaggerated. This most recent incarnation reused the “deadly car accident” rumor that was also Depp’s reported cause of death in an earlier, more elaborate hoax that even featured a fake CNN site reporting on his tragic demise.

His publicist was contacted earlier today, and I assure you– Johnny Depp is not dead. Skeet Ulrich is still cursing the heavens, wondering when he’s gonna get his big chance to be the next poster child for dirty greasy sexiness. Awwww… Skeet, Skeet.