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Jessica Simpson Really Annoyed Me Today

December 23, 2009
Molls
Jessica Simpon, Ken Paves
54 Comments

I’m pretty dedicated to Jessica Simpson. I defend her. I feel for her. “She’s a nice girl! Leave her be!” That’s the kind of thing I say about her. But then last night she posted this video on her Twitter that’s making the rounds today and oh my goodness, is she being annoying. Old school, Newlyweds annoying.

You see, I guess her BFF/hairstylist Ken Paves have her a candle for Christmas that’s supposed to such your ears clean of all their earwax. I’m not quite sure on how that science works either, but I’ve done some Googling for you and you can check out this if you want. During the entire video (which is only about a minute or so long but seems to last a lifetime), Jessica whines loudly as if she is in pain while Ken sings Christmas carols. One thing I do have to give the girl: She looks good. She always does. She’s without make-up, her hair is in a bun and she’s holding a candle in her ear with a Papa John’s pizza box stuck on it to catch wax. Not many people could look as pretty as she does doing that… but do you think she could SHUT UP?

54 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “You see, I guess her BFF/hairstylist Ken Paves have her a candle for Christmas that’s supposed to such your ears clean of all their earwax.”
    I’m sorry, I had to stop reading this post after this unintelligible “sentence” hurt my brain.

  • I’ve always wanted to try candling until I learned of the dangerous risks…. mainly damaging your ear drum! A Jessica Simpson running around that can’t hear her own voice? Oh, I don’t even want to imagine.

  • err molls, YOU are the reason i hardly come on this site anymore. can you please start proof reading your posts. I gave up reading after “You see, I guess her BFF/hairstylist Ken Paves have her a candle”.

    • Yea… its not like the g is next to the h on the keyboard or something. We all know people don’t make mistakes!! You’re suppose to be perfect? OMFG

  • i liked her in this! i thought she was cute. and definitely pretty. i had that done to me a few years ago and it was weiiiird..i’m sure i was making similar noises

  • Molls, you’re getting $$$ to write these stories, at least have the decency to proof read them. Don’t insult our intelligence.

    • Someone who can’t use punctuation shouldn’t be bringing another commenter’s intelligence into question.

  • I really can’t believe Beet doesn’t mind that your sloppiness reflects so badly on this site. There is no way you proof-read this post and didn’t catch those. If you don’t care enough about this blog’s readership to write a coherent post, why should anyone waste their time reading it?

    Beet – you really can’t find anyone better?? I MISS the old quality!! This is AWFUL.

  • this was on perez days ago :/

    and i checked it out bc my ears have been clogged, actually..

    anyway, the jessica simpson fans seemed to like it. so i guess this video was made to appeal to her fans? wild, huh

  • this was on perez days ago :/

    and i checked it out bc my ears have been clogged, actually..

    anyway, the jessica simpson fans seemed to like it. so i guess this video was made to appeal to her fans? wild, huh…

  • something about ken paves and jessica simpsons relationship reminds me of howard k sterns and anna nicole smiths..

    • I was thinking the same thing! Her “friends” think her antics are funny and seem to always get her drunk in public.

  • Please, PLEASE proofread your posts! I beg of you! This is your JOB. If you consider yourself in any way a writer, please have someone read over your post just once or twice before posting it. It’s simple and it would make reading your posts much more enjoyable. I like your wit and humor, but literally cannot STAND your errors because they occur ALL the time. They take away from the points you’re trying to make and that’s not fair to you. So, from one writer to another, PLEASE proofread your posts!!!

  • Actually Jessica wasn’t annoying at all. It was Ken’s voice off camera that grinded like nails on a chalk board. Slow day at the key board? Molls, your number of typos would probably go down if you learned how to properly type. Not looking at your hands kind of thing or using two fingers. I don’t expect you to write like an award winning author (or else you would have your own blog), but at least watch the typos.

  • I am certainly not a member of the gang up on Molls crusade but this was just too much. There is a huge difference between minor punctuation errors and just plain wrong or missing words. I don’t come here to play madlib.

  • I’ve been coming to this site for forever, and the constant Molls bashing from the grammar police initially annoyed the shit out of me. I thought it was jealous haters but over the past few weeks the barrage of grammatical errors is almost like a slap in the face. I thought maybe it’d be fixed eventually after being perpetually pointed out by the readers. How hard is it to proofread something you post on the internet for tons of people to see?! At this point I feel like we all deserve an apology or something it’s gotten so ridiculous.

  • Seriously… I don’t mind an error here or there, noone is perfect, but..come on! this is getting rediculous.

  • Molls is funny… stop being holier-than-thou bitches. You speak English well enough to know what she meant to say… roll with it, assholes.

    • Okay, say someone is reading this blog who speaks/reads English as a second language? Hm? Not so simple. And how about YOU stop being a “bitch?”

    • No one is saying that Molls isn’t funny. But the fact is, a tone has been set from day one by this site. Beet’s posts are funny AND erudite — they have a sense of depth. I have no idea what the actual demographic of this site is, but I’ll wager a guess that most readers have a college education and were in the upper 25th percentile of their grade level in junior school and high school.

      Yes, I and the other “assholes” here speak English well enough to figure out what Molls was saying. I can decipher that “…Ken Paves have her a candle for Christmas that’s supposed to such your ears clean of all their earwax” is supposed to be “…Ken Paves GAVE her a candle for Christmas that’s supposed to SUCK your ears clean of all their earwax.” And if I read that sentence as Molls wrote it on, say, Perez Hilton’s site, I would overlook it a lot easier because… well, let’s face it, that site casts a wide net wide and racks up the posts, but what’s being said is more often than not (FAR more often than not!) facile and shallow. This site doesn’t have anywhere near the amount of posts on a per-day basis, but what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in QUALITY and sheer professionalism. That’s the tone that’s been set. This post is sloppy and doesn’t match that tone, and that’s why people are upset. It has nothing to do with being holier-than-thou.

      • You are such a NERD… Take your pretentious attitude somewhere else… because a celebrity gossip site is not the place for people trying to act like they give two shits about “quality” and “sheer professionalism”.

      • The amount of posts here on those very subjects proves you wrong. But regardless, neither I nor anyone else is asking Molls to give two shits about her posts. All we ask is that she give A shit. Singular.

        If Molls was posting 25 articles a day or more, 5 days a week, I could understand a little loss of quality control. Or if this was her website, I wouldn’t say a word. Even if I thought this was the BEST she could do, I would keep my mouth shut. But I read “Molls… She Wrote” as well, and guess what? There are very few errors in the things she posts on her own site.

      • Oh goodness! How do you bear to even lay eyes upon this site with Molls’ copious amounts of spelling and grammatical errors? If you simply cannot bear it, then go read a damn book. Don’t come on here to nit-pick the writers. Criticize them because you don’t agree with their opinion; not because they misspelled a word. Find something better to do with your negativity.

  • THE COMMENT SECTIONS HERE ON EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POST ARE FULL OF GRAMMAR & SPELLING SNOBS.
    good.
    God.
    people.
    get a life.

  • Jax, there is a reason that the comment sections are full of people pointing out Molls’ errors. Her terrible spelling, grammar and punctuation is relentless.
    It’s sad that Beet doesn’t care. Of course Molls doesn’t, she gets paid regardless of how shitty of job she does. This site used to be really awesome. It’s just tiresome to read the dreaful posts lately.

  • Oh, Sarah. Just because your parents never stressed the value of a decent education doesn’t mean you should take your self-righteous ignorance out on the rest of us.

    Anyhow, look at the bright side! Your father must have pushed your mother down that flight of steps at least a dozen times, but here you are anyway! That means you’re a fighter! Yay for you! 8^D

  • Molls just sucks, she is absolutely awful! She isn’t even funny or witty and most of the time too offensive. She can’t even take the time to look over her posts. Beet, for the love of god get a new week day editor!

  • jesus christ, you guys. lighten up. molls is funny. yeah, she’s getting paid, and yeah, grammatical errors are mildly annoying…but she’s smart, and she writes funny shit. chill the fuck out.

    • i am feeling pretty relaxed, actually. and i agree, molls is funny and she is smart. so there’s really no excuse for constant grammatical errors that make reading a pain. i think the fact that she is now the weekday editor has something to do with the overwhelming response since most posts are now coming from her

  • I don’t even read the “stories” anymore. I scroll down the page looking for Molls posts, look for the most comments, and voila! Entertainment. Reading comment after comment of you jack asses having a fucking stroke over tiny little mistakes is gold, fucking gold.
    Keep up the good work. All of you, Molls included. Cos when I’m having a rough day it warms the cold cold place where my heart should be that you guys are pretty much killing yourself over this bullshit.

  • I bet there are only 3 replies in this entire post that relate to the subject. It appears that without Molls we wouldn’t have a fucking thing to say. Go Molls, you dimwitted dingbat!

  • aside from the painful grammar in this post, did anyone else think that Ken Paves was the annoying one????

    Jessica did not seem annoying at all compared to him.

  • I seem to be one of few disturbed that the Ken Paves School of Ear Candling utilized cardboard cut from a Papa John’s pizza box. Perhaps more telling is that I could recognize it as such after, say, 30 seconds.

    I was watching an ANTM marathon a few days back where he (unfortunately) appeared to do makeovers. Agree with many posters–compared to K-Pav Jessica Simpson has the voice of an angel.

  • I don’t think there is anything wrong with pointing out that Molls does in fact show consistent typos. She is paid to write. This is not writing. Typos kill credibility. Everything though is going down the tubes these days…in terms of quality. It annoys people because no one would last a week in a job if they had that many typos in their work. I am not talking about grammer mistakes. I think Molls writing intelligence will develope over time. Good writing does take time to develope. But typos is about having sound editing skills; which is the foundation of writing as a craft. And she won’t survive or grow past Beet if that’s the way she does things. And I can’t stand all the posts that think people are being holier than thou. You have no idea the tone in which things are said. If you have a defensive filter no wonder that’s how you view constructive criticism. And the advice isn’t even for you…and somehow you feel attacked. hmmm. Molls is lucky that she maintains her readers in spite of her sloppy, text style writing AND who care enough to point out a legitimate problem. If she doesn’t listen, readership will in fact go down…..and Beet will fade out. That would be a shame.

  • Molls, seriously – SPELL CHECK!!! You are funny and talented but you seem to have very little respect for the work you present when it is filled with stupid mistakes. GET IT TOGETHER!!!!