You know, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Rihanna after she went back to Chris Brown post-beating. After watching the first clip of her Good Morning America interview as it aired this morning, I just have a lot of respect for her. I found her to be absolutely riveting to watch and she’s so clear on what she needs to look at. If you’re being abused, don’t use “love” as the guiding force for what needs to change. Love is so absolutely blind and has led so many of us down the wrong path. It’s not easy to turn your back on love, but when it comes to abuse, it’s absolutely necessary.
Anyway, I’m excited to see more on tomorrow’s GMA as well as 20/20. Stay strong, Rihanna!
She talks sooooooo slowwwww. It takes her sooooooo longggggg to express a thought. Her sentences are all disjointed and fragmented. I had to stop watching it was driving me nuts.
GOD BLESS her though.
P.s. She is F-ing gorgeous.
yes, stammering disjointed and fragmented sentences, with words that are not used correctly, ie, “I could not even be easy with that,” delivered with a “how did this happen to me” daze, does NOT give the impression that she is clear yet on the situation, rather, she is still struggling to come to terms with it (which is understandable). her stance does not seem strong, it comes across as sheepish astonishment. that’s a step in a healthy direction, but she still has a long way to go toward strength and clarity.
i am thrilled to hear she thinks it was embarrassing that “that is the type of person (she) fell in love with,” because that statement acknowledges that it takes two to participate in a relationship, even an ABUSIVE relationship. but she starts out saying it “happened,” the abuse was something that “happened” to her. it didn’t just happen, someone DID it. her partner, whom she trusted, harmed her. I would like to hear more outrage from her towards her attacker, and a clear identification of her role in the relationship, not some bland “it happened.” be clear that she CHOSE a partner who beat her, and why she chose that partner. they chose each other. this wasn’t a random stranger attacking someone he didn’t know, they each found something rewarding in the personality of their partnership to BE in the partnership. talk about that. Rihanna, talk about what drew you in and why the relationship was appealing. THAT’s what people can learn from, how to recognize the signs of an unhealthy destructive relationship.
i wish she wouldn’t focus so much on “how high of a pedestal young girls put (her) on”…whoa nelly, stop worrying so much about what others think and RESPECT YOURSELF first. get your EGO out of your way and build actual self-esteem, not puffed up self-aggrandizement. learn what the difference is.
she is right that “love is so blind.” i wish she would also identify that fear is blinding, too. people create and hide behind fear to feel protected from shame, from public humiliation, to be weak, to hold back from growing and moving forward, to attempt to hide from discomfort or pain. LETTING GO OF FEAR is EMPOWERING.
her healing and awakening process is still going to take awhile and i hope she sees it all the way through, like Tina Turner has, for instance.
it isn’t just “young girls” who are in abusive relationships, people of all ages struggle with this.
glamour and fashion is a construct to hide behind. it’s a diversion, a la look at all this smoke and mirrors and feathers and sequins and lycra, so you won’t notice the real me. i hope Rihanna and C Brown both get emotionally healthy.
sidenote:
Rihanna’s fashion sense is las vegas meets the muppets in outer space…impressively ridiculous and unbecoming!
ps. my comment, above, was not mean to be anonymous. futhermore, “Eff love” is a misguided and bitter knee-jerk sentiment. love is a beautiful thing and must not be confused with fear and delusion. Eff fear and delusion.
meant! not MEANT to be anonymous.
don’t sweat it. it’s not like your post was gonna win you the pulitzer prize but that’s cool that you wanted us to know you were laying claim to it.
No. In this situation it’s completely appropriate. Eff love. Or rather, fuck love when it comes to domestic violence. That should become women’s rally cry.
Because love will make you stay. At least what you think is love. That kills women. So when it comes to reasons to stay: fuck love.
Right on, right on.
well put
She is from Barbados. Although their offical language is English, they often speak a very broken form of English with some African dialect mixed in. That could have something to do with how she talks. I’m sure the way she is speaking in the interview is how we would hear all of Barbados talking if we were over there. Props to her for tellling her story, poor English or not.
Didn’t realize what a cute accent she has! She does a really good job, she is smart and strong yet admits she’s a human being and how hard it is. She really takes herself as a role model seriously, it sounds like one of the biggest reasons she actually left him was knowing her actions might endanger other girls’ lives. She’s embarrassed that she fell in love with someone like that. Chris Brown f-ed up so big time.
Did anyone ever thought that the real victim in all this story mite be BROWN? Did anyone think that shes a tough manipulator? “Poor Rihanna”, “stay strong” and bullshit like that I dont buy, thanks. Shes not as victim as she let us know it.
Yep, you’ve confirmed it. You’re a fucking RETARD that couldn’t string two coherent thoughts together if you had fucking super glue. Get a clue, you douchebag.
That is such an ignorant statement.
Yeah, I’m sure she manipulated her way right into the hospital. Because that’s every girl’s dream. And no, “anyone ever thought” that her piece of shit, manhandling, abusive boyfriend was the victim, seeing as he was out 2 nights later hanging all over a million other girls, and, oh, THAT HE HIT HER IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY. Poor guy. He deserves some sympathy.
And by the way your grammar, sentence structure and basic handle on human decency suck. You’re an idiot.
Ignorant comments have become such the norm on sites like this and much like the abuse Rhianna is speaking about it needs to stop. Don’t hide behind your computer and some “anonymous” name. If you want to be ignorant at least do it in the open.
That said:
I was emotionally and physically abused by a BF for 2 years. I applaud her and thank her for telling her story. Not many of us do because of the shame we feel. It has been 7 years and the douche contacted me just recently. All I had to say was this:
“You do not deserve to be forgiven, you deserve to be forgotten.”
I filtered him out of my email and I hope to never hear from him again in any capacity. I have moved on, but everyday I still carry the scars.
great comment. and best wishes to you.
After my old boyfriend beat the shit out me and said, “look what you made me do,” I thought, “you’re right…. I manipulated you into doing that to me. I made you beat me.” Clearly, he was the victim and I was the strong arm.
Please, everyone ignore this deluded person. Let mine be the only response.
It’s…sarcasm.
I’m responding to XYZ, who sounds too dumb to be sarcastic.
did I ever think that you “mite” be brain damaged? I don’t think, I know.
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Maybe other celebrities should take note and have their significant other rough ’em up a little, especially while drunk or high like these two were. It’s sure helped this marginal singer’s need to get face time and will no doubt help her sell more cd’s. Her black eye is a cash cow and she’s secretly thanking Chris Brown all the way to the bank!
That’s bollocks, she was well famous before him, she didn’t need him to earn money, if anything, it was the other way round and he proper fucked it up.
Hear, hear you’re right there. I applaud her for finally starting to come to terms with her past, it must not be easy and you can clearly see how much she still struggles with it and how she has to fight back the tears.
Actually, I’m glad she addressed how her fame effected her response to the situation. Many women (and some men too) suffer from domestic violence without the glare of the spotlight and it is hard for them to leave for any number of reasons (love, economic necessity, fear, isolation, etc) without the onus of having their abuse all over the Internet. I’m so tired of celebrities who take the money and perks of being famous but don’t want the responsibility of being a role model or having people look to them for inspiration. I’m happy Rhianna acknowledged that her personal response to the incident had implications beyond her personal life because she is famous and that it does send a message to her fans. Its not like you can parcel the message you want to send: buy my albums, buy the products I endorse to be “like” me but don’t follow my real life or my example. She is right to recognize that a large part of her fan base are young people and that it sends a bad message to both males and females: that domestic violence is okay or part of love, that she “must have done something to deserve it” (which people were saying!) or that going back means you are working on the relationship and love is stronger than anything. All of these minimize the criminality of abuse! If someone as famous as Rhianna can be abused it does send a message that it can happen to anyone and that there are similar feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment. I’m happy she spoke out and recognized that he returning to Chris Brown does have implications for all those young people watching her who might be learning that violence is a “normal” part of love and that forgiving him is somehow more important than your own safety.
Wow, so many brilliant minds here… Amazing! And ure so tolerant… So if smb’s not with u, is against u, rite? Herd mentality, thats clear. My grammar sucks? Could be, ppl make mistakes after all. Im tellin u, all of u suck more than my grammar. Brainwashed morons who believe the bullshit they see on TV and read in the 2 cents press, this is what u are. Oh, and dont forget to write an ode to poor battered Rihanna.
Am I the only one who could give a rats ass about the beatdown at this point?
Further, I still think she has a HUGE forehead and looks like
Dionne Warwick. Just saying.
yeah i couldnt watch this i was getting irratated with her voice
Agreed on that point. She just drove me up a wall the way she talked. I mean I just wasn’t prepared for it.
She didn’t really make me feel bad for her. She seemed like she didn’t have a clue what she was saying and someone else was pulling all the strings. It seemed like she didn’t mean any of it.
She needs to fess up to her part in that mutually abusive relationship she was in. She has bragged in the past about breaking a glass bottle oner her own brother’s head during a fight. And it’s been known in the industry that she was violent toward Chris Brown before. She broke a back-up dancer’s ankle with a microphone stand for just talking to Chris Brown. She is not innocent, nor is she a victim.
If she beat up her boyfriend, then it was his responsibility to go to the police, and the responsibility of his friends and colleagues to urge him to get help. He never did so, and so we are completely without evidence to suggest that he was a battered partner.
Rihanna, however, was on at least one occasion beaten so badly that she had no choice but to cancel a public appearance. As far as we know, Rihanna never beat Chris Brown so badly that he had to do that.
Given this evidence, then, we can conclude that Chris Brown is an abusive man, and that Rihanna, while she may very well be a bitch, did not beat her boyfriend and is in no way deserving of a beat-down from someone she loved.
Are you trying to justify some abuse in your past?
I wish I knew whether she is altruistic or just wants to sell her music …
No, I don’t think she can read minds. I think she just wants to sell music.
altruistic [adj.] Regardful of others; beneficent; unselfish
Read minds? Nice try.
Haha, thanks, jkate : )
Man Anonymous you are making us other Anonymous’ look bad.
Read minds? What were you thinking? Next time put a name to your idiocy.
Blah she’s annoying
okay, now I feel for her, I REALLY do & I think Chris Brown should seriously be getting anal raped by 4 guys at one time in prison as I type…..
BUT
isn’t Rianna’s album coming out like really, really soon? I would think this whole thing was a lot more sincere had she done this interview after the actual incident happened. Call me insensitive, but this kind of reeks of “hey my album is coming out next week… remember that time someone beat the shit out of me?”
SO smart, SO reflected, SO gorgeous, I’m so PROUD of her, even if it is to promote her fucking record, this comes from her heart and you must be blind to not see how difficult it is to speak about it…….. she is so young and she speaks about this so mature…….. it must be very hard for her, I really feel for her…….. :(
wendie, weren’t you the one who was so quick to judge her and throw her to the wolves for going back to him? you weren’t just not sure how you felt about her, you were downright nasty to her. you should have taken the time to consider things from her perspective before you wrote all that horribly judgemental and condemning drivel. “stay strong, rihanna! even though before i thought you deserved to be murdered!”
Team Rihanna!
I’m sure destructive for each one particular in the bad souls around the market place who usually do not reconcile for Christ Christ
Just wasting some free time on Digg and I found your entry. Not typically what I prefer to learn about, but it was absolutely worth my time. Thanks.
You may feel that I’m fishing for complements.