“Listening to Lindsay Lohan Say She’s Sober? Priceless.”

The folks at Elle had the good sense to schedule an interview with La Lohan just 36 hours before her (first) DUI over Memorial Day Weekend.

“I was glad I went [to rehab],” she says, “because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn’t know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends — I was with them last night — they’re in AA for, like, years.”

But this is absolutely my favorite part:

In the Elle interview, Lohan asks her assistant Jenni Munro if she can put “the Mercer story” on the record.

Munro then relates the incident, saying Lohan lied about her sobriety during an interview at Manhattan’s Mercer Hotel. It was unclear when that interview took place.

“I started laughing,” Munro is quoted as saying. “And she says, `Why are you laughing?’ And it’s because I had just texted our friends this very thing: `A cab to the Mercer, 20 dollars; a room at the Mercer, 500 dollars; listening to Lindsay Lohan say she’s sober? Priceless.'”

I don’t get this. First off, why would she be asking her assistant’s permission to tell this story on the record? Secondly, why would she want to tell this story? Do you need it to be absolutely, positively clear in the public’s eye that you have a substance abuse problem, Lindsay? Because we’re eons ahead of you there, kid. I think you’re the one who needs to get some clarity on that.