Heh. Check out this clip from Oprah’s commencement address at Duke University. “It’s great to have a nice home. It’s great to have nice homes! It’s great to have a nice home that just escaped the fire in Santa Barbara,” she told the students. “It’s great to have a private jet. Anyone that tells you that having your own private jet isn’t great is lying to you.”
But she also emphasizes that her greatest joy in life is being able to help others.
That, and the private jet.
Hey, Oprah, I have a thought: Maybe you could buy me a private jet? That way you’d be helping others and I’d have a private jet. And every couple of months, between trips to the Cayman Islands, I would use my private jet to go pick up Lindsay Lohan from a bar and drop her off at rehab. And then I would pick up Paris Hilton from her house and drop her off in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. See how many people would be helped?
Wouldn’t it have been great if she pointed to the graduates at random and said “You’re getting a private jet. And YOU’RE getting a private jet… YES! Even you! YOU’RE getting a private jet!!”
=)
lol right on!
not to bring down the great O but what is a DR. in?
it is all so silly amazing what influence she has over such dormant people
good on the other hand- the topics; but so cheesed up almost to the brainwashing level
funny though
if she went awol and did just start pointing/demanding random results
She received an honorary Doctorate in Humanities. Her speech was pretty decent. Congrats to the Duke class of 2009!!!
I used to like Oprah and her show until she became such a stuck up, rich bitch. Yeah, I appreciate her in many ways, but this “kiss my ass – I’m royalty” attitude must go!
People that act like that are forcing me to wish REALLY hard that they will lose everything. Karma’s a bitch.
Beet, when you’re in your private jet can you pick up Ali Lohan too and drop her off at school?
Typical liberal hypocrite. Let’s force the “global warming” scheme via cap and tax on the peasants while I extend my carbon footprint around the world. I hope she buys her carbon credits.
Yeah, like when she has her “GREEN” shows, and she has someone come on to explain to the common folk how changing your light bulbs and drinking out of coffee mugs instead of paper cups will save the environment. Meanwhile, her California home has used 10 million gallons of water in 2006 and in 2007, while the “little people” in that county have been told to reuse shower water.
Yep, owning a private jet is fabulous.
I don’t usually write comments, but I have to say your site gets so much better when you write the stories! The tone of your writing is hilarious and that’s what keeps me reading your blog. The detail of the stories…eh…unimportant…but the way you write about the stories…priceless! You are talented my friend, very talented!
I can’t tell you how many people come up to me and tell me that having your own private jet sucks. And now I find out it’s all lies. Thanks for the wake-up call, Oprah.