I’m sure Phelpsy is crying his little eyes out and wiping them with marijuana leaves, because USA Swimming has suspended him for three whole months. I don’t even know what this means. I assume it means he can’t compete, which I assume he is absolutely fine with, because mostly what he wants to do right now is get high and fuck cocktail waitresses. Oh, and they cut off their financial support to Phelps for the same three-month period, effective Thursday. I’m sure this is very hard on Michael, too, because he is deeply dependent on the thousand dollars a month USA Swimming throws his way. It gets deposited every month in the bank account titled “Phelpsy’s Hundred Million Dollars from Endorsements” and he has no idea how he’ll make rent without it.
“This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero,” the federation said in a statement.
Seriously, kids, don’t do drugs or you might accidentally win eight Olympic gold medals over the course of two weeks and get hundreds of millions of dollars in endorsement deals … and then a teensy tiny slap on the wrist from an organization that worships you as a deity.
Oh, and apparently Kellogg’s dropped him, too.
Hey, Michael, if you need someone to console you, you should come to my house. I will suspend your penis inside my vagina for three months.
Thanks archphoenix!
LMAO! Posts like these are what keep me coming back to this site.
who would want to fuck him? He is so ugly
Oh, jeez, Beet! What a vivid mental picture.
Careful, I hear you can get a bitchin yeast infection that way
I was thinking urinary tract infection… but it should get you in Guinness Book of World Records, Beet.
beet, i love you but… gross!
i was thinkin the same thing….EW.
A little bit too graphic there at the end Beet. It kind of shocked me. For God’s sake your Grandpa is reading! ;)
OMG Beet said “vagina”…….. *rolls eyes*
:P
LMAO.
LOL!
That was some ‘lol’ shit right there.
Man look at those shoulders! they’re so scary and ginormous!! I can’t even imagine having sex with a guy that big (in the shoulders)… like having a grand piano on top of you… or being a speck of dust riding a grand piano..wow.
I feel that it doesn’t make a dent and he doesn’t give a shit because he doesn’t want to compete anyway. Why would this matter?
beet, you are way too pretty to be sexing this horrible looking dude, even if he does have a nice body. visit any gym and find yourself a nice-looking guy with a slammin body and you’ll enjoy yourself so much more.
besides, if mr phelps is bonging on all the time, his dick won’t be able to get hard enough to be suspended inside your vag for three seconds, let alone three months. it’ll be like a pair of wet rolled-up socks.
mmm. just the way i like it.
hooooooooooly shit. do me please. my across the hall roomer went to a party and may or may not have smoked with him. I do NOT know the details. Still he saId it was the same hat and shirt.
And Beet. I am with you. I will do him across the board and over again upside down and tipsy turvey. MP. You rock my world.
Michael had better get some savy or else he is going to be the weed smoking athlete who accidentally won 8 Olympic gold medals, who lost his 100 million in endorsements, because he is an ignorant hayseed who doesn’t know how to conduct himself now that he’s famous. All he will have left is the comfort of Beets throbbing vagina. You’re rich for now Michael, you can afford it; Hire some Handlers!
Oh Beet, I love you. I haven’t laughed this hard….since yesterday, when I was reading evilbeet instead of working.
Really? Every time I see his face it takes me a minute to reemmber that it ISN’T actually possible for humans and donkeys to mate and produce offspring, so that can’t be how this happened…
Is it just me or does he have a teeny tiny shrunken head??
No, actually applying the rules from my old life drawing class, he has perfect proportions, 7 heads high.
DAYUUUM!He does have an amazing bod…but he’s gotten so full of himself it’s a bit of a turnoff to me. : (
I think Phelpsy looks SOOOO MUCH better with facial hair! it covers up the horse face nicely! now i can focus more on the AMAZING body AHHHHH *drool*
Whoop-dee-doo. Kellogg’s dropped him. I’m not surprised. Kellogg’s original theory behind making cereal was to keep “impure” thoughts out of childrens heads (masturbating). I guess that includes drugs as well.