I’m more convinced than ever, that for a celeb to make an album in Hollywood, all they have to do is state that they are making an album. Do actors even have to audition when they decide to abandon Hollywood to pursue their music career? Or do they just start singing one day until someone leads them to a recording studio? Because there is no way in hell Sean Combs actually heard Joaquin Phoenix rap prior to agreeing to produce his album.
Joaquin Phoenix thinks he can rap. I mean, this is a joke, right? Is Punk’d still on the air? You have to watch at 1:20 when no-talent appears to worn out to even properly spank his own ass.
Video clip #1 is Joaquin rapping “his story” and video clip #2, at 0:32, is Joaquin doing an impression of the projected path of record sales for his forthcoming album.
That’s so embarassing. I used to have the biggest crush on him when he was younger (and clean shaven) – this is so horrible, it’s like watching my dad rap. Sorry Joaquin.
God. Just lasted until 1:11 during the first video. This is horrible. Bloody fucking awful. Also, why was he so hot and now he looks like a hobo?
I lasted the exact same amount of time. Is he chubby now, or is it loose gangsta clothing? Man I would never have recognized him.
Some people have said they found this depressing, but this is the funniest shit I’ve seen all year. Poor sad bastard.
1-Is he speaking English?
2-Is he high?
3-Agree with pinky, this clip is like watching some middle-aged man go 2 a karaoke bar and try to rap after 3 or more tequila shots(hence the falling and general incoherency).
He’s high .
This has to be a joke… I mean, really?
I was at about 20 seconds in when I realized that celebs have a better chance of living out their ridiculous dreams. Last time I checked we only have one shot at living our lives. And when and if he does fail miserably the whole world gets to point and laugh. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, what an @ss
thats an awful lot of facial hair
Love the bobbing-up-and-down thing he’s doing. He really knows what the kids are about!
Seriously…You have a promise acting career and you blow it for this???
What people can NOT rap!
Seriously…You have a promise acting career and you blow it for this???
White people can NOT rap!
Seriously…You have a promise acting career and you blow it for this???
White people can NOT rap!
WRONG!
case in point, eminem.
i think he’s a very passionate, and good rapper.
but then again, i don’t listen to rap much. :P
the Beastie Boys are/were also pretty darn good
and Black people can NOT play the violin! Start the stereotype war!! For fuck’s sake.
Dude…Vanilla Ice was a wicked good rapper.
I liked Walk the Line a lot…
but here he just looks like the lovable, scruffy hobo with dementia that comes into a deli and asks for a cup of water with no ice.
Oh, and did I mention the hobo has a speech impediment too?
No bueno, Joaquin, no bueno.
I also loved me some Joaquin, but now? OH JESUS! What is going on? The beard. The rapping. The jumping. He can’t really be taking himself seriously, can he? Oh Joaquin, no. Just, no.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, JOAQUIN — WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
Why did he have to go all bonkers on us? He was so talented…and so hot…but now…
LORD WHY?! Someone save Joaquin before he leaves us like River did!
I couldn’t even watch the first 10 seconds of the first clip. I am not joking when I say I was on the verge of tears. This is so bad that it’s not even funny. It’s just plain depressing.
I agree! I was such a fan of him and now I just don’t know what to think. He has gone insane.
this just HAS to be the most HORRIBLE performance
the beat of the song mixed with the voice sounds like a nursery rhyme…
and the rapping is just horrid
and OMFG the second video where he’s just jumping up and down like a little school girl makes me laugh so hard
oh my…this isnt even all that funny…its just REAAALLLY PATHETIC! what the hell is this guy thinking??!!
Muahahahaha.
I can’t believe he fell in the second clip. What an idiot.
Horrifyingly bad. Oooo, just embarrassing and awful. It’s too bad he doesn’t have a real friend in his life who could sit him down and say, “Dude, really…you suck at this. Please stop.”
oh soup, not ALL white people suck at rapping…just like not ALL black people are on welfare ;)
dumbass
What next white boy dreads?
He looks like he could use a shower and some psych meds.
(I didn’t mean for that to rhyme, I swear!)
If he weren’t a movie star,
the audience would be booing (or laughing) him offstage.
Hey…it looks like you might have a more promising career than Joaquin! That’s some good stuff.
Thanks Erin!
He’s got a decent voice, so I could see a singing career-but rap?
Please.
Is he going to start calling himself ‘Leaf” again?
P. Leafy. Biggie Leaf. L.L. Cool Leaf. Leaf D.M.C.
i SWEAR there has to be something else going on with this story that we don’t know about. joaquin phoenix rapping? casey affleck documenting this on tape? sean-puffdaddy-puffy-pdiddy-diddy combs agreeing to produce this shit? please dear god it’s just too crazy to not be something. um, right?
THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE.
Right? I mean, COME ON.
Oh my….
At the beginning of the second clip, I was scared he was going to launch into Jump Around.
He doesn’t even have ryhthm.
Unless he’s pulling the best stunt of all time, which really won’t ever turn out to be funny, I really feel frightened for him. I don’t care if he raps or becomes a ventriloquist or does the hula, he’s clearly suffering from substance abuse and self loathing and very probably some mental health condition.
I want to ask, ‘where are his friends?,’ but apparently they are busy partying with him and filming him (!) during this awful descent.
It STUNS me that Casey Affleck, whose brother and father both suffered severely with alcoholism, would not find a way to intervene rather than enable by filming him, of all things. No one is going to be surprised if it ends up being a documentary of his last days.
And that his siblings and parents wouldn’t step in after losing River so tragically.
Not good at all.
agree with you completely–there are only 2 options here: 1. a huge borat-like stunt or 2. everyone around him needs to be punched in the throat for not staging an intervention and getting him some help. seriously.
Very well put. I agree. I think Joaquin and Casey are intelligent enough to perhaps be making a joke about our society, but if they are not, this is very scary. I worry a lot that Joaquin is dancing a dangerous line with substances.
Exactamente. This man needs help, and I don’t understand why it seems like no one is doing ANYTHING.
Drinking that white lightning added brain numbness..
come on. i don’t think he’s serious. he’s just having fun. but that fall was funny. haha
This is bad. Real bad. Give me Aesop Rock, now there’s a white guy that can rap.
I… I chose to believe that this is all a gigantic hoax! Joaquin is pulling our leg! He, Casey and Sean are trying to mock all the silly little people and stupid stars who think that absolutely whatever celebs spit out is quality shit. He can’t be taking himself seriously… he can’t! It’s just… beyond comprehension. Please Joaquin, for the sake of my final shreds of faith in society- be joking.
You know ,
I really love River Phoenix…
I always liked Joaquin .
But you know , I really believe is fucked up out of his mind.
He definitely is . Heroin , coke , crack. Something…
Just look at him . He wear sunglasses all the TIME…He doesn’t brush his hair and he probably doesn’t take more than one bath a week…
It almost pisses me off …He should go get help .
OR fuck , go on vacation and travel or some shit .I mean if I was loaded , on drugs and had just quit my job I would run away and go to Jamaica or something and be fucked up there…But no….
He chose rapping.
I guess what ever makes him happy.
He’s probably like a retarded 3 year old on whatever drug he’s on .
I can imagine him walking around aimlessly , shaking , mumbling and waking up in a puddle of piss every morning ….or night….
Oh yeah …Definitely.
Un-Jokingly…
I want to hug him…
He looks so …pathetic .
Bad word…idk?
He looks like he needs a hot meal and a place to sleep.
That sounds mean…But he was mumbling and he made me think of a really old man in a nursing home… hah , that sounds mean too….
well here are some nice things…
I had a crush on him in To Die For…
He was so hot.
I love his eyes.
He’s still awesome.
I’ll buy his cd.
Great actor? Yes.
Blow hard? Yes.
Stick with what you are good at. You look and sound ridiculous as a “musician.” cough, gag.
i think the point is that if you are rich you can do whatever you want. so who cares if he sucks, he is having fun. and i dig the beard, i guess that makes me a weirdo.
he is NOT having fun, he’s just a mess and no part of this can feel good to him
I have had a crush on Joaquin since he played ‘Gary’ on “Parenthood” (as Leif Phoenix). F*ing HOT.
He kind of sounds like he has a sock shoved in his mouth… Hopefully someone will take pity on him and actually shove one in.
Give the guy a break! He’s been acting different for awhile now. He’s just out having fun. I’m glad no one records me everytime I do something crazy.
After an abysmal showing this weekend, Joaquin has had his rapping license revoked by the High Chancellors of Hip Hop.
http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/joaquin-phoenixs-rapping-license-revoked/
oh my god i couldnt even watch this all the way through! SQUIRM! what the hell is he doing? and whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyy??
im convinced that this is a huge prank and that the filming of it is going to turn into some strange award winning independent film.
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… This is the funniest thing i’ve heard in a long long time..
So disappointing…and I love this Vegan! What was he thinking?
Just seems like an artsy person having a little fun to me. I still like him…
Maybe this is how he unwinds?
I’d rather see this than a fakey -uber- tan -pretty- boy- kiss -ass any day.
I love the little freeze he does and his hat bobbing up and down–he looks like he is from the special olympics. I was so in love now I am left dry without the real Joaquin.
When he was giving the interview outside of the Lavo lounge–did anyone notice his weird drawn out new hippy type of accent?? Or is it just me?