Oh, Paris. I don’t care whether you’re in Aspen or Los Angeles or Mt. Everest. You’re competing with Lindsay Lohan each and every day of your life, and it simply cannot be done in those boots. Lindsay Lohan is the reigning boots champion of the world. The boots you are wearing are not nearly as cool as the ones Lindsay’s been wearing lately, plus how are we supposed to get a pic of your slipping and eating shit in the snow if you insist on such sturdy footwear? And lastly your name is not written on ANYTHING you are wearing right now. This worries me. What if you have a sudden chlamydia attack and pass out? How will anyone know who you are? We all know you’re not very good at hanging onto your drivers license …
Also I had a thought tonight. The thought is probably more related to the medicine I’m on for my cold than anything else, but wouldn’t it have been funny if Paris Hilton had been named Aspen instead? Like, they’re both two syllables for really expensive places where rich people go. It totally could have happened. Can’t you see her as being an Aspen Hilton? I really can.
I think I may have told this story on this blog before, but one of my best friends in high school had a brother whose middle name is Orson. His first name is Jeff. And his parents took a long time deciding which would be his middle name and which would be his first. And whenever Jeff would get into trouble — with a girl or with alcohol or partying — his parents would be like “THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF WE’D NAMED YOU ORSON!”
I don’t know why I shared that story, but I guess what I’m asking is this: Would Paris Hilton still be this obnoxious if her name were Aspen?
i don’t even know what to say…see i knew you were on cold medicine. go to bed beet; aspen hilton might not be a good take. i like you though. i got wasted once on cough medicine.
i drank a whole thing of nyquil on the guest bed in my moms old house and got trashed. but yeah those boots are really ugly.
i love the boots. they look warm.
Fuck…I must be losing it. I like them.
they make her feet look TINY. i bet she’s trying to bind her feet because everyone makes fun of her at the dinner table or something
I just hate the blue thing with the penguins on it.
Nothing wrong with the boots, what should she to be wearing leather heels in the snow?
Nothing wrong with the boots, what should she be wearing leather heels in the snow?
Love those boots. Anyone know where to get ’em?
I love the boots. Perfect for roaming the nearest ski village. It’s important to have a boot for every conceivable occasion.
LOL so true!
Oh my lord… God forbid somebody wear PRACTICAL boots in the snow, and not those retard ugg boots that let every bit of moisture in. I really like them and they seem to do the trick. They look like ski boots.
At least with those boots on and her hands in her coat pockets, you can’t see how freakishly large her hands and feet are.
She’d still be that obnoxious if her name was Brunhilde. Ethel. Prudence. Hildegard. Jane. Mary. You get the idea.
i think she looks cute
Jeff Orson.
Why on Earth would they have trouble figuring out which goes first?
That’s funny! Way more original than Jefferson.
i actually really like her outfit, unlike most of the crap she parades around in… are people just like staring at her? do they think she’s gonna do a trick?
You’re joking about the boots right? They’re practical. And this post is annoyingly long and rambling rubbish.
I actually think she looks adorable in that picture. Like she’s not about to slip in stiletto boots and break her fuckin’ head.
my siblings and i are named after trees/plants: laurel, ivy, aspen, willow and briar and i’ve never thought about it like this before, but ivy and briar–definitely the most difficult (to put it nicely) out of the 5 of us. coincidence or not?
beet – the boots seem normal for being in a ski village – what else would you wear? what worries me is the skirt thing over the ski pants (or is it the bottom of her shirt?) in any case, she is wearing something with little penguins on it. penguins! isn’t she almost 30 years old? that is some disturbing shit.
Forget the boots. What about the skis sticking out of her head?
YAA Adding this to my bookmarks. Thank You
just shut up.