With absolutely nothing else going on right now, Hollywood is all abuzz with talk of the $2M in gaudy jewels stolen from Chez Hilton last week, and Paris Hilton is all too happy to warble on about it herself.
“I think whoever did this, definitely has been there before,” she told E! News on Monday, while perusing the racks at the L.A. boutique Intuition. “We have some suspects that I’m thinking of … I would tell them to please return my things, because I know that they’re probably watching E! News right now, to return everything and that’s it. They just have to anonymously have a taxi drop it off in my front gate in a box with my jewelry and everything they won’t get in trouble, but if all this goes on for much longer they’re going to get in more trouble.”
I’m sorry, but does anyone else think this sounds like the bitchy girl at summer camp trying to figure out who used her razor? Because she’s brunette and it had a black hair in it this morning and so she just knows someone used it? And she’s got like a fucking checklist of names and everyone’s huddled around her bottom bunk while she holds court and produces evidence and accuses everyone and makes people cry? And she’s like, “Look, if you just admit it now, I won’t turn you in,” like there’s a fucking summer camp jail and you will be incarcerated the fucking instant she tells the counselor that it’s your leg hair on her razor. And the whole time you’re just sitting there thinking to yourself that she probably started growing pubes this week and didn’t notice. Paris Hilton is totally the bitchy, pubescent summer camp girl who thinks you used her razor.
It sounds EXACTLY like that, Beet. Spot on.
funny how different boys and girls are, but if you take it back to summer camp, say age 13, in hindsight it’s scary how alike we acted. we all wanted to make up a new persona at summer camp, like for 2 weeks we were joe montana but good with women, or jem from the self-titled cartoon, both of which were trully outrageous.
but somehow, we all faltered. i lied about previously being able to ride a motocross dirtbike, some lied about using an untouchable personalities’ personal razor. all of camp found out about our faults and be it dirt or hair that never should have been there in the first fucking place, it made us stronger.
all i know is that camp was one big tease, but fortunately my other failed schoolmates had mothers with differing but rigid definitions of what a christian boy believed, so we never went to the same camp. that would have been like seeing your bookie at the first day of your witness relocation.
Did you just completely avoid mentioning anything whatsoever to do with this blog, or are you just stupid?
I’d love to know.
and I’m sorry to kick the bitch when she’s down but that dress she’s wearing is just absolutely revolting and she looks stupid and trying too hard.
Merry Humbug
BIG FUCKING DITTO
oh god help me, but I actually like it. Cute and funny. If Bjork were wearing it, you all would like it!
it’s a shirt and a skirt.
And I actually think the shirt is PRECIOUS. I could do without the rest of the outfit.
oh and I love her statement. like, who DOESN’T watch ENews? I don’t think I have ever even seen it.
I love that shirt, too! And I think most of what she wears is sh_t!
that is the ugliest shirt i have ever seen in my life.
I actually really, really like it
O_o
I didn’t read the post, I took one look at that outfit and thought “Olive Oyl.” She looks like a cartoon character.
She’s gotta be the dumbest hoe in the universe…
Seriously….what the hell’s going on with that shirt??? She must want the perps to know that she on to their asses by watching Blues Clues…
…And everyone KNOWS all the bitch-ass thugs and gang bangers in county lock-up watch E! NEWS every night to see what boots and leggings Lindsay Lohan will be wearing…
“Duhhhh….have a minimum wage, ghetto cabbie drop it off at my mansion in a box labeled “$2 million dollars worth of valuable shit…WWJD”
Greasy Bear you bring my stuff back or I will tell your mother!
You read my mind…
yeah im pretty sure
paris knows perez
I’ve seen them photographed
together
he probably took some of her
undies too
I think she has every right to be upset, and she is being kind enough to say just bring it back.
2 million dollars worth of her stuff, and you think she is being bitchy?
Your a fucktard.
I hope pictures get posted of homeless people wearing her jewelry.
Its was BD, he stole her valtrex, this is something he always did when he was hanging around her old place.
Was it in a safe, or was it sprawled about on her dressing room table?
She needs to get one of those Aqua Net hair spray cans with the false bottoms to stash her jewels. Poor Paris.
Or she could get what they call A SAFE DEPOSIT BOX.
That way maybe she would still have some of Great Granny’s brooches to hand down to her future spawn. If she had a brain, she’d be dangerous.
Lmao @ BEEBEEC
Ahahahahhaha
Whatever, its $2M of her jewelery. I dont care for jewelery but I love bags and purses. So if anyone stole $2M of my bags and purses all hell would break loose. I would go all Girl Interrupted on their asses.
GOTS to be Greasy Bear!!
She sounds like one of those fucktards who hides her jewels in the freezer thinking no one has ever thought of that before. Ugh.
I bet the robber was her “New BFF” Brittany Flickinger
As everyone else is commenting on it, I thought I’d mention that I looove her outfit. The makeup looks terrible, but the shirt. I love. The shirt.