Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Because Who Doesn’t Want to Watch Two Minutes of Japanese-Speaking Sushi Chefs If It Includes Five Seconds of Britney Spears?

Here’s an “exclusive clip” from BritneySpears.com of Britney eating sushi in Japan. Dude, I hate BritneySpears.com with every bone in my body — I hate the constantly chipper editors, who refer to themselves with such hardcore, rebellious, fuck-the-man nicknames as “Britney’s British Bitch” and “Britney’s Lead Bitch” and “Traci,” and I hate their ad nauseum sychophantism and near-deification of Britney, and I hate the refusal of anyone on there to admit that this chick just went through a very, very fucked up year and still has a long road of recovery ahead of her, and that there is a very, very, very thick line between “having fun and being true to yourself” and “mental illness,” and I hate the fucking sorry excuses for “exclusive” pics and video they have. Like, you’re the official Britney Spears website. You could at least get Britney waving to the damn camera.

I dunno why I’m so worked up about this. I don’t even know who I’m angry at or why, really. I just really don’t like that website. I think I should be able to run BritneySpears.com for a week. You hear that, Celebuzz? Hand the site over to me for a week. I’ll triple your traffic, no vaginas involved. Pinky promise.

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