Britney Spears: Gay, High and Single!

I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way Britney Spears could be into chicks. Just like there was no way Britney Spears would expose the paparazzi to three separate shots of her bare nether regions over the course of a single week. Nothing surprises me from this girl. The new issue of In Touch is reporting that Brit-Brit’s had a taste for the ladies since well before her split with K-Fed. In fact, they even got someone — Omar Sharif, a rap producer and friend of K-Fed’s — to go on the record with this story! “Britney was into threesomes and girls,” he’s quoted as saying. Another “insider” says Britney would often disappear into bedrooms with her girlfriends while she was married to Kevin. “Sometimes it was three girls, and sometimes there were more like six. I heard about her being with girls at least 20 times while they were married.”

Britney will have plenty of time to focus on her girlfriends now, as OK! magazine is reporting that she got dumped by Isaac Cohen. A friend of Isaac said he’s been “looking to get out of the relationship for a while.” What? They’ve only been dating like a month. At exactly what point did he decide he wanted out? Probably around the time she started puking on him in front of cameras. “It was a bit much for him,” continues this friend. “There was a lot of drama – it was too much of a whirlwind. It wasn’t one thing in particular.” So, Isaac Cohen will make a semi-graceful exit from his fifteen minutes of fame and go back to utter irrelevance, until his tell-all comes out early next year. And Britney is free to focus on spending time with friends however she sees fit, and diligently insuring that her career and her future have been thoroughly destroyed via the abuse of ecstasy and cocaine and the poor, innocent color pink.