Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Take That, Subway

Press release of the day:

In honor of its new Oven Baked Sandwiches, Domino’s Pizza (NYSE:DPZ) , the recognized world leader in pizza delivery, will be giving away a free Oven Baked Sandwich to anyone named Jared (all spellings of the name Jared will be accepted). The first 1,000 “Jareds” to contact Domino’s Pizza will receive a gift certificate for a free Oven Baked Sandwich.

“The ‘Jareds’ of the world have got to be clamoring for hot, tasty sandwiches,” said Patrick Doyle, president of Domino’s USA. “We want everyone to try our new Oven Baked Sandwiches that are served hot, right out of the oven and made with only the best ingredients.”

Individuals named Jared should contact Chantele Telegadas at pr@dominos.com. Customers will be asked to present a copy of their driver’s license clearly stating that their first name is Jared. The first 1,000 “Jareds” to contact Domino’s and present proof of their first name will receive a gift certificate good for any one of the four Oven Baked Sandwiches: Philly Cheese Steak, Chicken Bacon Ranch, Chicken Parm or Italian.

For all others who may not be fortunate enough to be named Jared, go ahead and call your local Domino’s Pizza to order a delicious Oven Baked Sandwich. Baked at 450 degrees and delivered right to your door, we are sure you will love these delicious sandwiches for an irresistible price — just $4.99!

Get to it, Jareds of the world!

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I tried one of those sandwiches- never again. The whole thing tasted like rubber- all throughout the sandwich, it was like they somehow blended all the ingredients so that the taste and texture was the same throughout and then molded them into the shape of a sandwich.

  • All this food talk on this blog would have made me hungry is it wasn’t for the fact that most of it involved one or two people who would ruin my appetite with their flesh colored beard and man hands. This marketing idea it cool. Not sexist at all. lots of girls named Jared.

  • FYI: domino’s owner supports operation rescue, and for a while in the 90s domino’s was putting anti-choice literature in people’s pizza boxes until someone sued and they had to stop.

  • lol@ that FYI… never heard that before
    yeah I am super hungry now. I had the chicken parmesan last week and I was very impressed for it being dominos- it was good but I still prefer my ‘hole-in-the-wall restaurant in town- cleverly named ‘PIZZA’