Sweet fancy Moses, it’s here already: The Oscars. I’m one of those people who is more interested in who wears what vs. who wins what — especially this year. I thought this year wasn’t the greatest film year. Thought it was pretty weak, actually. But enough about that. Let’s talk more about Oscar fashion!
As with all fashion posts, it’s up to you to go through all the photos and decide who has the BEST, WORST, and most WTF look of the night! My picks, as always, are at the bottom. I will try my best not to go completely f-cking insane. Everyone ready? HERE WE GO!
And we thought Amal Clooney was going to be the only one to bring us ~~controversial gloves~~ at an awards ceremony. Well, Lady Gaga sure as shit isn’t going to let that happen. Look at how fucking determined she is to make these gloves a thing. She looks like she robbed Gaston. It’s a shame, because the dress isn’t actually that bad. Oh well.
Anna Kendrick. I suppose it’s a very lovely gown, but I think it’s a wee bit yawn. But it’s not a miss by any means.
Cate Blanchett. I am digging the quiet simplicity and elegance of this look. The black keeps it classic, while the necklace screams modern. Very nice.
Chrissy Teigen goes for a bold look that kind of reminds me of something Jerry Hall would wear in her heyday. Personally, I think it’s a little too bold. That lipstick…
However, once again, Common effing nailed it. Some might think the velvet blazer is cheesy; I think it’s classic.
Dakota Johnson is the belle of the ball. I quite like this dress. The color is striking.
Felicity Jones — a swing and a miss! She’s usually so smart with her choices, opting for pieces that have a sense of nostalgia about them. But this dress has more of the nostalgia of a 1980’s wedding gown — not a good look.
Gwyneth Paltrow is also going for that ’80s vibe with this single sleeved number. WTH, Gwyneth?
Jennifer Aniston. I like the idea behind this. The execution? Not sure. It def looked better in motion.
Jennifer Lopez. So, I’m sorry this isn’t a front view. She had some pretty impressive cleavage going on. I think this gown is actually prettier from the side. From the front, it looks like she’s covered in large, alarming flesh-colored lumps.
Jessica Chastain. Not sure what to think of this. I usually drool over her awards show looks. This dress seems a little dated to me; however, she looks utterly fantastic. So we’ll call it a win.
Joanna Newsom and Andy Samberg. They make a fine couple, don’t they? Her dress is adorable and his tux actually fits. Well done, you two.
So everyone is gushing over this custom Chanel gown on Julianne Moore, but, and I’m sorry, I think she looks like a line of freshly squeezed toothpaste. I don’t get it.
Okay, so I must be six-years-old, because I adore this gown on Keira Knightley. She looks so freakin’ cute. I approve!
Kelly Osbourne. It’s like Betty Draper meets a flamenco dancer. Not sure what to think about this one.
Kelly Ripa. This gown looks like of heavy on her, and yet…I like it? Not thrilled about the hair, though. Looks like she showered frantically and then let it air dry. Maybe she did. In which case, you go, Kelly.
Guys, I’m sorry, but I hate 90% of everything Kerry Washington wears. This peplum gown is just not doing it for me. I don’t think it’s particularly attractive, or flattering. And she’s such a beautiful woman. I don’t get it.
I do, however, love this gown on Laura Dern. It’s so daring and edgy and she pulls it off so well. One of my favorites of the night.
Lorelei Linklater. Listen, I admire and respect that she always takes a risk with her fashion. Does it always pay off? I’d say, no, most of the time, it does not. But I appreciate that she always tries to do something different.
Lupita Nyong’o slays it again. Apparently that dress has somethings like, 6 thousand pearls on it. She looks perfect.
Oh, and speaking of slaying it, here’s Margot Robbie. I love this look. It’s very ’70s without being very ’70s, you know?
Marion Cotillard is another one of those people who usually nails it for me — she’s got such a chic fashion sense — but I just can’t get behind this one. It’s just too summery and, well, plain. Is that stupid to say? Whatever, I don’t care. I just don’t think it’s the right gown for the occasion. She seems out of place. Again, I don’t know, I’m just a chick with a computer and an opinion.
I gotta say, I actually love this on Meryl. It’s so perfectly her. Only she could pull this off.
Michael Keaton is looking good, though I’m thinking that jacket may be just a wee bit too tight. Still, glad to see him.
Naomi Watts looks like a freakin’ 20-year-old. How is that possible? I mean, yeah, I kind of hate the tube top under the gown look, but overall, she looks amazing. I can’t hate too harshly.
Nicole Kidman. You know, a lot of people hated this dress. I’m just glad she’s back to being a redhead.
Patricia Arquette went with a nontraditional Oscar look. But then again, she’s very much nontraditional. It’s honestly not my favorite, but I don’t hate it either. Cheers to her for her win!
Reese Witherspoon. As usual, I love her look. It’s so ~~sleek~~ and minimalist.
Rita Ora. What an odd, strange gown. It’s like she has a robotic boob.
Rosamund Pike. This was a shocker for me. Usually, I hate her gowns. But this? I freakin’ loved this. So flattering and so fashion forward. So gorgeous. I’ll stop using italics now. (Just kidding, I can’t possibly promise that.)
Scarlet Johansson. So I love the color, but I feel like everything else — mainly the hair and necklace — is kind of a hot mess. I also feel that she’s gotten too skinny, but I say this every time. Sorry.
Sienna Miller‘s dress was a real head-scratcher. Can’t quite figure out what the hell is going on. Shall we see another angle?
Whoa, holy lip injections, Batman! Honestly, I am so distracted by her lips, I can’t focus on her dress at all.
And finally, Zoe Saldana. I’m not psyched or sold on the hair, but this dress is stunning on her. Fits her perfectly.
Time to make your picks!! Not a whole lot of WTF this year, sadly. Here’s mine:
BEST: Rosamund Pike
WORST: Felicity Jones
WTF: Gwyneth Paltrow
Your turn!
Was the theme of the night black and white for the ladies? So many of them in those colors (or variations on white). The color dresses are so much more interesting. Maybe one of these days we can have a separate post for the men?
Ladies:
best: Keira Knightley (beige yes, but with some color!)
worst: Julianne Moore (white is not a good “color” on her)
wtf:Chrissy Teigen (tired of the leg stick out)
Men: (not much to choose from, but here goes)
best: NPH (such a cutie) (and his husband David Burtka (am I right there?) is the best accessory!!
worst: Michael Keaton (looks like if he moves the whole tux tears)
wtf: Common (velvet? not sure how I feel about that)
wtf:
Great comment! I agree with you, for the most part, on the guys. Personally, I loved Common’s velvet, but I totally get how it could get a WTF reaction.
Best Cate Blanchett because she is Cate Blanchett
worst Chrissy Teigan because she looks like transgender
Wtf Gaga because those gloves don’t belong
This comment is insensitive at best. Transgender is a person, one cannot look “transgender”. Perhaps her choice of makeup/styling is not to your taste, but please do not insult fellow human beings because you are incapable of accurately describing what you find visually unpleasing.
Best – Jessica chastain the cut and color of the dress looks good wth her hair and skin
Worst- Meryl Streep it’s the oscars I know she’s been to many but come on! Wear a dress
Wtf- Laura linklater- too much like my old dress waiting at a Chinese restaurant
Gotta disagree about Rosamund her dress reminds me of the end of a Freddy Kruger movie
Why does julianne moore always look so cramped and insincere when smiling?
What’s with the flesh tones this season? They make most people look washed up and blah… Lots of thick looking materials like upholstery. Lotsa of really pretty dresses but nothing memorable