Gwyneth Paltrow’s beauty advice: ‘Be a girl; deal with products.’

Gwyneth Paltrow fancies herself a lifestyle guru and thinks she’s got all the answers to the woes of the privileged class, so it’s no surprise that she’s got plenty to say when it comes to beauty advice and how you should care for your skin. She’s 41 now, so apparently that’s time to “deal with products”… you know, “like a girl”? I’m not really getting her correlation there (well, I am, but I don’t like it), but here’s her actual rundown of her own routine – which you, of course, should follow.

From People:

“I try to always cleanse my skin and moisturize at night. I’ve gotten a lot better at it,” she tells PEOPLE. “I used to just wash my face with a wash cloth and water. But now I’m 41, so I need to be a girl and deal with products and put them on and stuff. I still think a hot wash cloth is a really good exfoliator, and I still use it. But I put a cleanser on first. Exfoliation is super important. A hot wash cloth and good scrub.”

So, you know… basic, normal stuff like washing your face and moisturizing it, which I should add a lot of men do as well as women. Also, eureka! A hot washcloth! Who knew it had such magical anti-aging properties?! I’m rolling my eyes. I’m just surprised no mention of Botox made its way into the advice given… Or are we supposed to believe it’s as natural as Kim K’s ass?

This “advice” comes on the heels of her joining up with luxury skincare brand Restorsea to sell you expensive ass creams for your face just because she says they’re good. Greaaaaat. You can get some special 3-piece set on the Goop site for like, $150 or something (which is apparently a $170 savings – yipee!).

Again, I should state her that I have NO PROBLEM with whatever cosmetic procedures people want to have done. You want new boobs? Great, get ’em! Want to shoot your face up with botulism to look like a newborn? Knock yourself out! But just BE HONEST ABOUT IT.

Also, Gwyneth Paltrow is the worst, the end.