I cannot remember the last time I bought an issue of People magazine when I wasn’t about to board a flight. I will, however, be rushing to my local newsstand on Monday to purchase a copy of the magazine, which will reportedly contain thirty pages of photos of the new Brangelina babies.
Some initial photos will be on People’s website on Sunday, at 7 pm EST, but goddammit I want to thumb through all thirty pages. I want to see those fucking twins in every pose imaginable. And for $14M (the reported price), they sure as shit better have photos of those babies playing with puppies. Like, really little puppies. I am calling the Better Business Bureau if there are no puppies in this spread.
Oh and you wanna know what’s extra exciting, guys???
I bought a printer/fax machine a couple weeks ago, and it turns out that the damn thing has a scanner! I learned that when my friend was staying with me earlier in the week, and I slept in until 10 am, and when I woke up she was sitting at my computer in the living room and I was like “What are you doing?” and she was like “Oh just scanning in a few documents that I need,” and I was like, “How?” and she was like, “Um, using the scanner sitting right here?” So I have a scanner! So you know what? I’m gonna scan ALL THIRTY PAGES OF THIS SHIT for you guys. And then I’m going to get a cease and desist from expensive lawyers and then I’m going to take it down. So save them to your computer while you can. Remember: check here on Monday!!!
You go girl!!!! I won’t buy the mag but I will look at your site :)
I’ve always wondered why it’s “cease and desist.” Won’t ceasing accomplish the desisting and vice versa?
oh my gosh, THIRTY PAGES?!?!!!?!?!?
and thanks for saving me a couple of bucks, beet :D
omg haha i love you, you actually crack me up!
Thank you thank you thank you!
Dear God… $14 Million dollars for baby pics?! Unless one of them is a magical unicorn and the other is God coming to visit earth in human form, they WAAAAAY overpaid. Setting aside the fact that those two are loaded anyhow, if this was the only money these kids got and it was invested properly, they would never ever have to work again… they could just live off of the accrued interest!!!
Actually, it would be hilarious if they both ended up looking like the baby in the Seinfeld episode were Kramer poaches lobsters and George gives lobster to Jerry’s girlfriend for walking in on him changing after swimming shrinkage!
P.S. How is Mrs. Beet doing? I picture her with grease on her face under your car with a spanner in one hand and squeezing lemons for lemonade in the other.
“where” :-( OOPS!
lol you crack me up
I understand them, for 14 million!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well hey, at least all that money is (?) going to charities. Better to have the $14M go to Brangelina than to Jamie-Lynn who would spend it all at Wal-Mart…
At any rate…this was an adorable post, Beet. :)
U go girl!
The best part is that they’re just going to look like every other however-few-weeks-old babies EVER. It would make more sense to get pics of them when they’re OLDER, like Shiloh. Then at least you can sort of see resemblance. Not so in BRAND NEW BABIES.
She is beautiful !I saw her profile on M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e . c o m —They are dating on that site.
Evil Beet, I love you!