Everybody’s in love!
Everybody but me. :(
So I ran a bunch of errands this afternoon, hitting up Home Depot and Safeway, and I pulled into my apartment complex’s garage and headed to the door loaded down with bags. As I’m getting up to the door, this guy parks right behind me in a super-sweet black BMW SUV. I’m hobbling to the door and I hear him be all like, “Here, let me get that for you!” And he opens the door and pushes the elevator button, and we stand there and chat for a long while, because the elevator in my apartment complex takes longer to come than Ryan Seacrest with a woman. And he’s super-hot, and he’s sweet and articulate and funny, and he’s definitely flirting, and he’s dressed in a fancy suit, which I love on a man, and I’ve pretty much decided I’m going to marry him and we’re going to have babies, and I’m naming our children in my head when I realize he’s had his left hand in his suit pocket the entire time we’re talking. And then I’m like, “Oh, Beet. Wedding ring.” And then I was sad. I mean, I’m still not sure, he could just be the kind of person who keeps his left hand in his pocket at all times for no particular reason. Except for that kind of person doesn’t exist. I know he lives on the fifth floor. I’m going to commence stalking, I think. Just in case.
But whatever. At least Paris Hilton is happy. She and Benji drove a Hybrid SUV to DCMA on Monday afternoon for a lovely little photo op. And I hate that I adore Paris’s outfit. Well, not the hat, but everything else. I may have to copy it. I probably will. And I hate that, too.
FIRSTIES!an SUV!!!!!betch, it’s2008! it be cheaper to fill up ur tank with unicorn blood.what else do u think is sexy, stoking ur fireplace with fifty dollar bills? fuck even paris has a hybrid.MADNESS!
omg beet. what if he reads your blog and knows about your plans, since you have posted pictures of yourself before. maybe this will start up a love connection and he’ll be flattered that you wrote about him on here :) i hope everything works out.
Benji always looked like a confused potato head. Poor guy. And he’s called Benji. Phew.
The STD ridden pig only has the other brother no one gave a shit about before Nicole Richie got knocked up by the one who is recognized now because of her when she was dreerunk off her ass and a pill freak which comes back to Paris’ desperation because her skank ass 15 minutes are up and nothing will grow in that swamp of venereal disease she calls a uterus and she has to keep on dating the little troll so as not to be run over by the paparazzi instead of being photographed because no on really cares about her anymore.
I wanted to write a great run on sentence, Paris seemed perfect. Good luck with the man thing, they are always more fun in the beginning. Plus they like going to Home Depot, leaving us able to shoe shop at leisure.
I really hate her feet.
WHAT??????????? evil beet has posted fotos of herself before????? will someone please tell me when was this!!! (^_^) Oh yeah!!! I like paris’ shorts
You know, is it just me or is Paris starting to look a little fitter, and not just stupid skinny? I think she might be actually putting some effort in…
Do you have more?
doesn’t anyone notice how awful those sunglasses look?! not just on her, either.. c’mon
Nice legs.
She’s a lez.. and he’s a submissive dork.
With that bald head encased in a goofy hat, Benji looks more like a troll every day.
Aww, Beet…I know EXACTLY how you feel! Sometimes I catch myself leering at happy couples in disgust. Good for them, but at least you’re not alone in feeling like everyone is uber-happy with Mr. Prince Charming and all the good guys are taken. It definitely gets me down sometimes, but eventually we’ll have our handsome, successful guys to make people like us jealous :-P. I wish you the best of luck in your stalking, haha!
Her legs look nice, not loving her new ‘wear a ridiculous cap with everything’ habit though.
I do like her outfit.. and I like that they match a little – corny as it may be. But I don’t think I can wear a vest, it just isn’t happening.
oh i so want to hear more about this mystery guy!
i think we need to be updated anytime there is news!
“a super sweet black BMW SUV”? ! in seattle? oh beet, please tell me you were kidding. unless the guy has 4 kids why does he need it? maybe trying to compensate for…erm…shortcomings? stay away from him….i can tell he’s a douche.
ooohh beet PLEASE stalk him
i wanna know if hes really married ( you never know )
that would make for some hilarious posts
I support the comment on the glasses. I really don’t understand that “trend” either, they are so fucking ugly!!!
Beet.
Fuck Paris Hilton. I want you to be happier than anyone! You deserve it more than than her than that freek, as know as Paris. You have worked your ass off all your life. Beet, you are the one to beat – litarry.
Paris and Benji (vomit) Lindsay and Sam (puke) So boring and who cares.
But reading the Beet was better this session. If being off those meds is the answer, just learn to live with anxiety. Make the energy work for you. You certainly seemed to have posted more with much more interesting comments this time.
Biting, bitchy, and intelligently witty is much better than dumb-ass mental midget valley girl vomit. Because valley girl is Paris and I would not read her. Now I remember why I started reading this blog in the first place. It made me laugh! Thanks
those sunglasses especially do not work on her… gag.
Next time Beet, you think you cold crop the photo?
Her feet ALWAYS make me feel like barfing.
Honestly, she has the bottom half of a crow.
Holy Jesus they are color coordinated. He’s whipped.
It’s ok Beet. I like her outfit too. And I’ll probably copy it also. You’re not alone.
I don’t think Paris Hilton is ever really happy… and damn all Seattle men… they’re either married or completely flawed!
“because the elevator in my apartment complex takes longer to come than Ryan Seacrest with a woman.”… best quote from Beet so far… and does anyone still give a shit about Paris and her Benji anymore?
I am so sick of them. Benji has stolen the Paris essence. Not only is she wearing longer skirts, panties, and has stopped doing drugs, but she is also *GASP* staying sober?!? The clothes and drugs I can live with. But I miss hearing about the crazy shit that goes on when Paris is hammered. :(
I’m not in love either!!!!
BUT! I LOVEEEE reading your shit!!!
OMG paris you don’t derserve Benji he is so HOT and you are so NOT HOT yeah you heard me your not hot and those dorky glasses just make you look like a DUMB, DITSY, AIR HEADED bimbo oopps my mistake you all ready are one of them. Benji is a hot, talented, sweet, charming kind guy and all you like him for is his cock and his money (like you all ready don;t have enough of that you dickhead anyway why don’t you just go back to where you came from HANSON ROAD you pathetic prostitute