Dane Cook’s Dog Is Like Leo

Dane Cook is going to trial. But not on charges of awful, awful comedy. No, he’s going to trial because his landlord is trying to evict him because his dog shits everywhere.

Jury selection was today.

Apparently the questions Dane’s lawyer asked to the jurors included the following:

– What’s worse: Stepping in gum or stepping in dog poop?
– If you live next to a park and saw dog poop, would you avoid that park?
– Would you confront someone about spitting out gum on the sidewalk or not picking up dog poop in a public place?
– Would you confront a neighbor about picking up after their dog?

Hm.

Leo doesn’t really have a problem with pooping on public property, but he definitely pees everywhere. Because he’s so little, when he gets excited — like if someone is playing with him — he just can’t help himself and he piddles all over them. Luckily my landlord thinks Leo is adorable and would never evict him for peeing. Which is good because he’s done it in their office like five times, including the day I signed my lease. It’s their own fault though because they always play with him when he comes into the office. I warn them that he’s going to pee, but they don’t stop. So if they ever try to evict me on charges of Leo peeing, I’m going to tell that to the judge.