Hey, Jessica Biel. Guess what, girl? You still suck at dressing, and while this particular infraction isn’t as bad as that Blanche Deveraux-getup thing you wore to one of the ‘Hitchcock’ premieres, it’s still pretty bad. Why? Well, let me clue you in: your dress looks like a big, charred vagina. That’s right. It looks like you took a blowtorch to your vulva and laughed maniacally while the delicate folds of pretty pink skin sizzled like sausages, crackled like a chip bag, puckered like a prune, and finally contorted itself into a former shell of itself, chiseled from carbon.
Does that about cover it?
OK, so normally I think you’re too hard on her, but WTF. She looks like a manta ray.
LOL!
I was going to say that! Either a sting ray, or a pierogi.
Haha when I saw the pic I thought VAGINA! and then I read the text.
I think your description is just about right. Or like what Harriet said, it does look like a manta ray. But it shouldn’t be on a dress. Bad choice, Jessica Biel.
Charred vag….crispy cooter doodles? I’m astonished you didn’t mention the awesome side boob…
I LOVE that this beautiful woman sucks at dressing. How refreshing! NO ONE else has this niche cornered! Justin could dress her…..he’s the one with taste and style in that pairing. I bet Jessica is very interesting and can talk about anything – except fashion.
haha!
she always looks sad.
The top of that dress looks too much like vagina parts. Not cool.