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Fun with YouTube: Paris Hilton, “Screwed”

May 18, 2008
Evil Beet
Uncategorized
23 Comments

So my girlfriends and I went to the Missy Higgins show tonight. Missy was amazing — she looked adorable on stage, and she has such an incredible voice! It was so great to be there and to watch her. I hope she takes the U.S. by storm, as she deserves to.

Afterward, we started talking about giardia — because none of us has children, but we all have dogs. So we started talking about our “kids” and giardia and how it was transfered via fecal matter. And somehow Paris Hilton came out of that — go figure. And one of the girls was like “Did anyone actually hear that whole CD?” and I was like “Um, I wrote a review.” And she was like “Were there any other good songs?” and granted it had been a long night at that point but I was like, “Uh, ‘Screwed’ was actually pretty good” and then we came home and the girls were pretty trashed and we were trying to figure out how to score weed but we didn’t even know what to call it, because we’re old and everything, and so one of my girlfriends texted her 19-year-old cousin like “What do the cool kids call weed?” and the cousin was like “Mini-H” and we were like “What does that even stand for?” and her cousin was like “Why should I know? I just smoke it, I’m not running the goddamn marketing department,” but it turned out someone had a boyfriend who had weed so we scored that and the girls got stoned for the first time in like 5 years. And everyone was like “How are you digging that mini-H?” and it was very funny.

Does anyone know what “Mini-H” means? I’m such a senior citizen.

Anyway. Then we listened to Paris’s CD for like two hours and everyone was like “Man, her voice is even worse when you’re stoned. It’s, like, separate, and it’s awful.” And we talked about how awful Paris is when you’re stoned for like an hour. Or maybe 20 seconds. Who knows?

So, ladies and gentleman: Paris Hilton, “Screwed.”

23 CommentsLeave a comment

  • ugh!! Wasn`t smokin` but listening that drivel was akin to being on a really bad acid trip to be sure !!!
    ahh…some really bad/fuzzy/creepy memories of `Nam came floodin` back ! :(

  • You can still call it weed, Beet. Unless it’s that uber-dank, mega-chronic stuff. I don’t know what the kids are calling that sort of thing nowadays.

  • Mini-Heroin? You know what they use to say – Marijuana smoking leads to the harder stuff.

  • I’m not really a violent person, but if I had a gun I would shoot Paris in the face. Yup, the face.

  • I am so jealous that you have seen Missy Higgins live! I am Australian and I haven”t even seen her live yet!

  • Very bad music, very bad done, and turning the level really down even Disney’s stuff are way better than this CRAP ..

  • *WEEPS PROFUSELY*

    I thought Heidi Montag’s “Body Language” was the worst thing ever, but you know, now hearing this I can’t decide.

    ps: I was also going to say that I wish I were still drunk but then I realized that when I am my hearing gets better. I hate being a music major sometimes.

  • mini-hash?
    just a random guess…
    i’m 17 and my stoner friends definitely don’t call it that though

  • Beet doesn’t post nipples on the site any more because she wants to attract better advertisers yet she writes up about getting stoned.

    Weed = good, nipples = bad? Who are your advertisers? Christians? Only Christians would be that hypocritical.

  • i’m not a native speaker or drug user but i’m guessing that it means “mini high?” maybe b/c it’s nothing compared to real high :D

  • Never heard that terminology.. and at nineteen I think I am one of the cool young people…

    Herb is the tried and true. But its still weed honey. Just dont call it dope.. That just sounds super old

  • I have no idea what mini-H could possibly stand for. It’s not even defined at UrbanDictionary.com, so that tells you something.

    Weed or pot is still standard, and I’m sure always will be. Sometimes we like to say grass, or green, as well. But if you’re looking for it, weed or pot is always safe.

    And whoever said stay away from using the word dope is right. Nobody says dope anymore, and if they do, they’re usually referring to some kind of harder drug.

  • HYDRO: Marijuana grown indoors using a hydroponics system (tubes and filters with water and fertilizers).

    MiniH? Sounds like clueless young suburban kids trying to make their own lingo out of shit they don’t understand. Probably just basic weed – and NOT Hydro weed.

    P.S. Now that you are in Seattle, next time get some BC Chronic. ;)

  • I actually bought her cd… there’s liek three good songs (if you like the Li-Lo/Hilary Duff/Ashlee brand of music, which I do). My favourite is totally “Nothing in this world” and the music video is adorable but makes her quite a pedophile.

  • I’m a major weed lover, to the point its almost a problem, and I’ve never heard the term “mini-H”. Then again, I’m from the UK.