Taylor Swift Doesn’t Even Get Why John Mayer Thinks Her Song “Dear John” Is About Him

What a treat, friends. What a nice treat! Two Taylor Swift interviews in one day, can you believe it? In the first one, Taylor discussed falling in love all the time and how “it’s not my fault if someone gets into a relationship with me and then cheats and I write a song about it.” But in this one, Taylor talks about a time that someone got into a relationship with her and then broke her heart and she wrote a song about it.

I’m talking, of course, about her song, “Dear John.” It’s a song about a failed relationship (surprise!), and here are some of the lyrics:

Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home, I should’ve known.

Well maybe it’s me
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it’s you and your sick need
To give love and take it away

And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand
And I’ll look back in regret how I ignored when they said
‘Run as fast as you can’

Got it? Now, John Mayer was involved with Taylor at one point, and a while after Taylor released that song, this happened in an interview John Mayer did with Rolling Stone:

John Mayer says that he was “really humiliated” by Taylor Swift’s song “Dear John,” which the country-pop star allegedly wrote about him. “It made me feel terrible,” Mayer says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, on newsstands Friday. “Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do. … I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call,” he says. “I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?”

Mayer also takes issue with “Dear John” as a musician. “I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting,” he says. “I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”

And, finally, here’s an exchange that took place in Taylor’s new interview with Glamour:

Glamour: And “Dear John,” also about a failed relationship, still seems to be resonating strongly. Does that surprise you?
Taylor Swift: I think that song really hit home with a lot of girls who had been through toxic relationships and had found their way to the other side of it. I’ve never looked out while singing a song during a concert to see so many girls crying.
Glamour: You never identified who it was about, but John Mayer recently told Rolling Stone that it was him.
Taylor Swift: How presumptuous! I never disclose who my songs are about.
Glamour: He said he felt…
Taylor Swift: No! I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.
Glamour: You don’t? [Mayer told Rolling Stone that he was “humiliated” by the song, and that Swift’s releasing it was “a really lousy thing for her to do.”]
Taylor Swift: I know it wasn’t good, so I don’t want to know. I put a high priority on staying happy, and I know what I can’t handle.

Yes, how presumptuous of John Mayer to think that the song Taylor Swift wrote called “Dear John” about a bad breakup was about him. It’s not like HIS NAME IS IN THE TITLE or anything. And how very, very rich for Taylor to refuse to hear a bad word about herself when she’s made her entire career on saying bad words about everybody else.

But hey, here’s a bonus quote that Taylor gave about ponies:

I think some people think it’s just apple pie and sunshine and sprinkles and ponies. Which is just funny. But I never feel the need to go out and make some grand statement that I’m dark and twisty and complicated, because I’m not that either. It’s just not as simple as ponies and rainbows, though I do love ponies and rainbows.

Taylor Swift is what’s wrong with everything in this whole world.