Any day I see a new Karl Lagerfeld interview is the best day of my life. He’s just such a bitch, and I love it. I probably wouldn’t love to know him personally – I probably wouldn’t be able to handle having a conversation with him at all – but I love it every single time he says words. He’s just so absurd in his bitchiness, you know? It’s just a magical experience every single time, and I know that many of you feel the same way.
And with that, I bring you a brand new Karl Lagerfeld interview:
On his serious love of fashion: I remember one time in winter in 1956–it was beyond cold. And I went to see my father at the George V with only a suit on…He said to me, “But you will die! You will get pneumonia!” And I said, “I prefer to die than to wear another coat than the robe style in blue cashmere in the Dorian Gray window. If not that one, I prefer to freeze.” So he bought the coat.
How he got his perfect hair: When I was tired of the fashion for long, curly hair–because my hair was curly-I started to attach it. It was in 1976. So that means that I have had the ponytail for 35 or 36 years! Not bad, no? It’s the easiest hairdo. I’m not very gifted for hairdos. I don’t like gel and all those products. It’s perfect with this white powder, because my hair is not that white at all.
On shirts: If you’re accustomed to a handmade shirt by Hilditch, a ready-bought shirt is like wearing some torture stuff.
On his hilarious mother: The other thing that doesn’t work on me is a hat. I love hats, in a way, but when I was a child, I’d wear Tyrolean hats, and my mother–I was something like eight–said to me, ‘You shouldn’t wear hats. You look like an old dyke.’ Do you say such things to children? She was quite funny, no?
A lesson on throwing shade: I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress full-time. If you’re young and tight, maybe it’s OK, but…
On allergies: I hate sloppy footwear. What I hate most is flip-flops. I am physically allergic to flip-flops.
On fingers: I hate manicures. I do them myself. I’m pretty good at it. I cannot stand someone touching my fingers.
I just wish that someone could sit down with Karl and ask him about every single thing that ever existed, I really do. Someone could hang out with him with a recorder and say “Karl, how do you feel about fax machines?” or “Karl, do you have a story about birds?” I bet it would all be beautiful.
He sets the bar for bitchiness. And he sets it high. That he is SO unapologetic makes it fantastic. I want to die & come back as Choupette.