She hit someone’s car! While she was in her car! I know, what a shocker!
The accident wasn’t serious, or at least it wasn’t as serious as her last accident. See, what happened was Lindsay decided to go shopping yesterday afternoon, which is fine. But she decided to drive, which, as we all know, is usually not so fine. She was headed down Sunset Boulevard towards a stop light, but she decided not to stop. That’s it. The light was red, cars were stopped, but Lindsay stops for no red light. So she hit the car in front of her.
A woman who was in the car that Lindsay hit said that “we were sitting at a light and somebody hit us,” and that afterwards a passenger got out of Lindsay’s car, said he was like, so sorry, but they had to go ahead and go because some paparazzi were tailing them. He did give her his phone number, but then they left. You know, because evading photographers is more important than the law.
The good news, though, is that Lindsay barely damaged the car she hit, so she must not have been going terribly fast. I was in a very, very similar car accident a few years ago: I was in my friend’s car, sitting at a stop light, and a woman hit us, but she was going about 45 MPH. No one was hurt, but the car was absolutely totaled, and the woman who hit us stumbled out of her car and told us that she didn’t see us because the sun was too bright, and “someone should do something about that sun.” At the time, we speculated that the woman was possibly doing meth, she was just so odd and shaky, and really, someone should do something about the sun?
Shine on, you crazy meth heads.
Why is she still driving? No, scratch that. Why isn’t she still in jail?
Please do not shop or drive in my area, Lohan. Even getting a small crunch in the fender is a hassle and your lips will be even bigger if I were to let my anger fly and punch you out. Get someone to drive for you already, face it, you are a terrible driver, drunk or sober.