After the CSI star physically assaulted a TMZ photog last summer, they were all too happy to report that Gary Dourdan was busted yesterday in Palm Springs for possession of — ready for this? — heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs.
People still do ecstasy? That’s, like, so late-’90s to me. Did you remember to bring your glow sticks and lollipops too, Gary? Were you wearing your JNCO jeans when they got you?
Anyway, Gary was taken to the Palm Springs jail, where he posted bail and was released.
Also: Leo was supposed to start puppy kindergarten today (that’s actually what they call it!) but Mommy slept through it. So Leo will start puppy kindergarten this weekend instead. And I will bring my camera, so as to capture all the insane cuteness that I’m sure is involved in puppy kindergarten. Also, me and Leo’s downstairs neighbor (who we’ve never met) moved out this morning, and he was kind enough to leave a hand-written note on my car talking about what horrible upstairs neighbors Leo and I are (“THUD! THUD! THUD! That’s what it sounds like when you walk across the floor, and then I hear your stupid dog following you! Thank GOODNESS I’m moving out today!”) Our former downstairs neighbor is a pathetic ass. Like, non-confrontational much, buddy? Leo weighs three pounds. I can’t imagine he makes that much noise. For the past five years, I’ve lived with three cats who weigh about four times that, and never had a single complaint from downstairs neighbors. But Leo and I are moving to a much friendlier, nicer building in two days, and we are VERY excited because Chez Eggplant is a piece of shit with no hot water and mean neighbors who don’t treat Leo like the tiny prince that he is.
Update: I realized that I have to amend this. I did, once, get a complaint from a downstairs neighbor, and it was hilarious. I was having really loud sex with this guy I was dating one night at like two in the morning, and I realized afterward that my bedroom window was open and the whole complex probably heard us. So the next morning I get a knock on my door, and it’s the complex’s 70-year-old security guard. And he’s like, “Um, we got a complaint this morning from your downstairs neighbor. She said you were being, um, noisy last night.” And I was like “Really, that’s strange. I don’t recall being noisy last night. Did she say what kind of noises?” And he kind of shifted a little on his feet and was like, “Uhh, just noises, ma’am. Around two am.” And I was like, “That’s so weird. I swear I was asleep by then. Are you sure you can’t be more specific about the noises?” And he was like, “Um, no. Sorry to bother you.” I’m laughing right now just thinking about it. Too funny.
Haha. That reminds me of this site for passive agressive notes. the link is quite simple – passiveaggressivenotes.com. Some of the notes are just ridiculous haha. bBut, have fun in puppy kindergarden!
Ugh. The other day, this retarded neighbour of mine called the police because she didn’t like that my boyfriend parked his car near the garage of the building instead of on the street in front of it.
How hard is it to gently confront your neighbour face to face when something bothers you? I wanted to pull her head off.
OMG puppY KINDERGARTEN?! PUPPY kindergarten! i want pictures! i don’t care if i don’t see any more gossip on this page as long as i can see those. omg. PUPPY KINDERGARTEN. kawaiii
My God, who ever wrote the article above is such an Idiot!
At least you had fun. People who complain about loud sex are just jealous. I’m sure our neighbors on all sides hate us. But, if we want to get technical… it’s the complex’s fault for having paper-thin walls. What am I supposed to do with that? Contain MY screaming orgasm so you can watch your CSI? FUCK that! Get ear plugs, or a butt plug… either way, we’ll be on the same level then. :)
That’s why I moved rural, so nobody can hear the screams. Or the pitter patter of thudding feet, or 2am vacuuming or the 15LB cat following me around. Get revenge by sending the note to FoundMagazine.com, and the entire worldwide web can laugh at your former neighbor.
that is so awesome that you tried to get a description out of that security guard. i’ve got a mental picture of this conversation and I’m totally laughing out loud!
That was great beet, really!! I live in a townhouse complex and I think a lot of neighbours have heard a lot of things – good and bad ;-) before we realized that you really shouldn’t leave the window open!! Oh well, fuck em. I love that you did that to your 70 year old security guard!!!
hahahahahaha god, beet, you make my day
HA HA to the whole post. Natural pregression.
Loud sex is oftern a problem. Work on it beet.
I had the same problem with my current apartment complex. Some office worker called me and left a message asking me sheepishly to “move my headboard away from the wall” because of complaints from several neighbors. I don’t have a headboard on my bed (;
hahahaha to the post above me! hilarious! god i love you beet. i’m so glad you put it out there and keep it real. i am like the loudest bitch in the world when i have sex. i’m surprised i never got any complaints from neighbors anyway i love the story. made me laugh out loud. poor 70 year old man. lol.
I would never complain about neighbours having loud sex – they’d think I was jellus (which, yeah…) and anyway, it’s usually over soon enough… ;-)