From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:
Scientology leader David Miscavige called a secret emergency summit among the controversial church’s top celebrities to deal with the public fallout from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ divorce.
Sources told The Enquirer that among those contacted for the clandestine conference call were Hollywood hot shots John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Bijou Phillips, Leah Remini, Jenna Elfman and Juliette Lewis.
The church has been on the defensive since Katie blindsided her famous hubby with divorce papers on June 28. Numerous sources have reported that she wanted to protect their 6-year-old daughter, Suri, from falling victim to the religion’s “weird teachings.”
Media outlets have been having a field day with the coverage – the cover of one New York City newspaper featured a mock-up of Tom’s head, with wires attached to it, inside an alien spaceship!
And both Tom and the organization have been the butt of jokes on late-night TV and the internet. Even media mogul Rupert Murdoch chimed in on Twitter, calling people who practice Scientology “evil” and “creepy.”
“Scientology has never been hit this hard, this fast,” explained an insider. “The church is being made out to be a laughingstock, and Miscavige had a meltdown that his top draw, Tom Cruise, was being ridiculed across the globe.”
In an effort to do some damage control, Miscavige directed the top secret conference call from the church’s headqurters in Los Angeles.
“Every one of these celebs, from John Travolta to Kirstie Alley, loves the church and will do anything to promote it,” the source said.
The plan is to embark on a $25 million public relations blitz in which the church will “pull back the curatins” and be more open about its beliefs. As part of that initiative, the church is considering starting a Scientology cable TV channel, which will feature its biggest stars talking about the faith.
“The Scientologists are determined to help Tom,” added the source. “But they also want to protect the church’s reputation from further embarrassment.
YES. Yes, Scientology, this is a fantastic, foolproof plan. Of course you should be more open about your beliefs, and absolutely you should start your very own TV channel where Kirstie Alley and John Travolta can teach us all about thetans and Xenu and all your fascinating history, and then you can have the Tom Cruise Levitation and Mind Control Hour to bring in the ratings during prime time. There is no way at all that this plan could possibly backfire.
On a different note, it tickles me so much that the leader of Scientology “had a meltdown” over the fact that Tom Cruise isn’t being taken seriously. Is this really the first time that he’s hearing about that? Because I can’t remember a time this century that anyone took Tom Cruise seriously.
We just really need that Scientology TV. Then we’ll see. Then we’ll all see.
OK. let’s be a real bitch here. Scientology failed to help Kirsty Alley with her ongoing weight problem….?????? Although they claim to be able to do SO DAMN MUCH.
And I guess they also failed to help J. Travolta’s son, the one they didn’t want to admit was autistic because somehow Scientology is supposed to be able to avoid all such human “failings” with their sweat baths and whatever else, to the point where they had to hide Travolta’s son so that he did not cast aspersions on what the religion is able to (NOT) do.
I am SO excited about this, Emily. If they do this Scientology channel, I will watch it and read all of your coverage.
First of all, I am really fascinated by the study of religions in general.
But mostly, I do not care for reality television, but I LOVE crazy trainwrecks. Oh my goodness.
Hilarious picture!
Tom Cruise is a total jerk-jumpimh on a couch on oprah’s tv show and praising the asinine scientogy which is sciece fiction,just a huge tax write off the famous rich people and abise the por depressed people looking for something in their life that is missing and are abuse-wotk them 14 hours a day plus they must buy all these stupid books to grow to higher level-they strt out asking ecery thing bad you have done and record it,then give you a DVD software to download on your computer so they will know every thing you do on computer.once these people realize their being used for labor and slaves they wise up and want out but scientology really goes after them,trying to distroy their lives,send in false claims where they work so they get fired,make up stuff to get them in trouble with the law,tell lies to IRS.send all their nieghbors and friend letters of huge lies of them,once these people join they do not want you to leave and will do anything to get you back or they try to mess up your lives as much as possible-the government must not give this made up scientology so called religion a tax break for it’s not a religion-it’s science fiction and should never get tax break from government,this fake religion has messed up allot of peoples lives-this shit reallu angers me bad and that short little punk Cruise is mentaly unstable-Katie fif the right thing.Scientology is very dangerous to people who are down in their lives and make the mistake to go to this place instead of a Christian Chruch.
“Scientology is very dangerous to people who are down in their lives”
That’s how the Mormons snared my sister in law. She was depressed and they moved in on her like hyenas and confused her apparently feeble mind.
HOLY XENU…… That response was only 4 sentences long!!!
I fixed up and translated it. Corrections in brackets. “[]”
Oddly enough, I agree with all of it except the last sentence. I don’t necessarily think running to a “Christian Church” is the best answer.
The rest of it is documented. (They actually do (or did) sign enemies up for porn and send it to their neighbor’s address.)
Tom Cruise is a total jerk â?? jumpi[ng] on a couch on oprahâ??s tv show and praising asinine sciento[lo]gy, which is scie[n]ce fiction[.]
Just a huge tax write off [for?] the famous rich people and [perhaps to?] ab[u]se the po[o]r depressed people looking for something in their life that is missing and are abuse[d] â?? wotk [work?] them 14 hours a day[,] plus they must buy all these stupid books to grow to higher level[.] They st[a]rt out asking e[v]ery thing bad you have done and record it.
Then give you a DVD software to download on your computer so they will know every thing you do on [your?] computer.
Once these people realize their [theyâ??re] being used for labor and slaves[,] they wise up and want out[,] but scientology really goes after them[:] trying to d[e]stroy their lives, send in false claims where they work so they get fired, make up stuff to get them in trouble with the law, and tell lies to [the] IRS. Send all their n[ei]ghbors and friend letters of huge lies of them[.]
Once these people join, they do not want you to leave and will do anything to get you back or they try to mess up your lives as much as possible[.] The government must not give this made up scientology so called religion a tax break for itâ??s not a religion. Itâ??s science fiction and should never get tax break from [the] government[.] This fake religion has messed up allot of people[â??]s lives[.]
This shit reall[y] angers me bad and that short little punk Cruise is mental[l]y unstable[.] Katie fif [did] the right thing. Scientology is very dangerous to people who are down in their lives and make the mistake to go to this place instead of a Christian Ch[ur]ch.
It’s kinda hard to rally on his side after what he did, the same creepy thing.. to some other people because he’s selfish, stuck up jerk, living a lie and totally delusional someone would settle for pretending they are the ultimate fan and besotted slave to his whims and fancy completely ignoring their life and now.. a beloved child he could willfully destroy..
That list of “Hollywood hot shots” are all has-beens! Everyone knows Travolta, Cruise & K. Alley are crazy. $25 million in PR will do nothing but expose more of their craziness & I can’t wait :)
While all organized religion is dangerous (any organization can have it’s goals subverted,) the COS has, from before it’s beginnings, been a dangerous and lawless operation.
Though all churches should pay taxes (how does giving them tax-exemption qualify as ‘separation of church and state?”) the COS needs external auditing to determine where their income originates and where it goes even more than most ‘faith-healers’ in $10,000 suits.
Additionally, they are an organization which routinely recommends grossly illegal acts of retribution against their ‘enemies’ in particular those who leave the church.
There are already far too many ‘unusual; deaths among the COS, and they have been anything but helpful to law enforcement investigations.
Next they’ll be bombing government offices and poisoning politicians just like any other terrorists. Only they seem to be more effective than most terrorist organizations.
Eh, I don’t think that all organized religion is dangerous, but I’ll agree that they all need to be watched.
The original idea behind NOT taxing churches was an argument for separation from church and state. I do agree with that. Taxes are a necessary evil, but ALL tax is bad.
The scientologists do seem to be very strenuous in retributive tactics. These come from “advices” (yeah, that’s what they call them. Creepy word disassociation as a control tactic. *shudder*) written by Hubbard. They are treated as laws. There are, supposedly, THOUSANDS of them. Go look up R2-45. Creep central.
Anyway, they’ve already been a LOT more dangerous than terrorists. Go look up Operation Snow Flake. Get ready to go down a long dark hole though.