Do you remember the feeling that you had when Paula Abdul left American Idol? It was this cold, empty feeling, like your soul was just starting to realize that it would never again be whole. And there were a couple of years that sort of blurred by with Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres, and you watched just to fill the void, but you knew that you could never feel that magical feeling that you felt before. It hurt, but you found solace in the knowledge that nothing could ever hurt as much as this. But then Simon left, and wow. Just wow. “This is it,” you thought to yourself. “This is the end. This is the place where love and hope and happiness come to die and where nothingness sets in.”
But then Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler joined up, and things were … ok. Their first season was all right, and their second season was better. You thought “maybe I can do this. Maybe I can open myself up again.”
WRONG.
Steven Tyler is officially gone, and here’s his glorious statement:
“After some long…hard…thoughts…I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress ‘American Idol’ before she boils my rabbit,” said Tyler. “I strayed from my first love, AEROSMITH, and I’m back – but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band. The next few years are going to be dedicated to kicking some serious ass – the ultimate in auditory takeover…On Nov. 6, we are unleashing our new album, Music from Another Dimension on the Earth, Moon, Mars, and way beyond the stars…IDOL was over-the-top fun, and I loved every minute of it…Now it’s time to bring Rock Back. ERMAHGERD.”
ERMAHGERD, CLASSIC. I’m going to miss that crazy, creepy son of a bitch.
Jennifer Lopez, meanwhile, has been hinting at her departure from Idol for a few months now. She was on the Today show yesterday though, and it sounds like she should be making an official announcement any day now:
“I’ve loved it so much. I’ve enjoyed the show so much. I enjoy just the whole process of the show … It’s a tough decision either way, but I have to say there are so many things I do that I put on hold for that,” Lopez, 42, said. “It’s a heartbreaking decision if I have to go.”
She also said that while she loves everyone on the show, “I am thinking it’s time for me to go and do other things I love to do.”
There’s also been talk that poor Randy will be let go so that Idol can have a completely fresh start. Possible ideas for new judges include Charlie Sheen, Adam Lambert, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, will.i.am., and Fergie. Katy Perry has already turned the job down, but Charlie Sheen told TMZ that he would be down if the price was right and if he new show, Anger Management said it was ok.
So who’s looking forward to this next season, huh?
So, next year, they will be replaced with two other celebrities who’s stars are burning out…only to have their careers resurrected in a year or two.