Katy Perry’s Got Another New Boyfriend, Probably Banged Him in the Port-a-Potty at Coachella

How else would you explain that big red blotch that’s about to be a mad bruise on the inside of girlfriend’s leg? It’s awfully high-up to be making excuses like, “Oh yeah that was totally from the bull-riding contest I was in at the other tent.”I mean, if so, what was she riding—its head? No. She was probably riding her new boyfriend’s head. Case and point.

And speaking of new boyfriends, did you guys hear who Katy‘s new one is? It’s the guitarist from Florence + the Machine, Robert Ackroyd. From the Sun:

The 27-year-old singer was seen kissing and cuddling her new playmate, Florence And The Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd, at the Coachella music festival this weekend.

Perry and the Brit were cosying up for all to see as they watched her best mate Rihanna perform at the US event.

First up was an alleged fling with French model Baptiste Giabiconi, but now things are hotting up with Brit award-winner Ackroyd.

The tattooed musician and the leggy singer couldn’t keep their hands off each other as she flung her arms around him and they swayed along to the music like a loved-up couple.

So she’s off the model and onto the musician. This is going to end well for good old Katy here. To be honest, I don’t think Katy knows what she wants these days. She wants Russell Brand back. She wants to be a movie star. She wants to date every half-decent-looking guy in Hollywood. She wants us to see her bare boobs, kind of. Sounds to me like it’s a confused little girl that doesn’t know how to put her open hands away.

Also, Katy, your “I wanna be just like you” friend up there in that photo is … well, she’s making you look bad by ripping your look off, and she looks even sillier, thus making you look even worse.

Check out the photos of Katy snuggling with her new boyfriend in the gallery.