Watch This: “Hot Problems”

All I can really say about this video is that these two numbwits make Courtney Stodden look like a f-cking MIT graduate who also happens to be naturally gorgeous, talented, generous, and intriguing.

The video’s called “Hot Problems,” and it’s about two young girls who are so hot—who say that they embody “textbook perfection”—and the problems they have (like people thinking they’re stuck up and, like, stuff like that, like like like like like AND LIKE).

The thing is, yeah. I know they’re young girls (probably no older than Kylie and Kendall Jenner), but they’re going to end up like Kylie and Kendall Jenner, who are going to end up like Kim Kardashian if they don’t watch out. I know that idea probably seems really, really cool to them at the tender age of fourteen or whatever, but when they’re thirty and have fifteen-plus years of sabotaging every human interaction that’s come their way, they might have some pretty deep-seated regrets about living their “problematic” lives. Just take this line from their song: “hot girls we have problems too/we’re just like you/except we’re hot.” Please, you know? PLEASE.

The girls cleverly call themselves Double Take, and their official single on YouTube might be one of the most-hated videos of all time. As I watch, it’s got 1,235 likes and 16,935 dislikes. That’s got to be some kind of record. Move over, Rebecca Black, you’re no longer the biggest juvenile twat on the “music” scene.

All in all, the video, the song, and the girls all make me want to kill myself. But I won’t. You know why? Because I’m way too curious to see if this turns out to be a real thing, and if it does? Well, I’ll just kill myself then. That seems like it’d be an appropriate time.